almost a year

I am sitting on the couch.  Ziggy just came over, put her chin on the couch, I patted it and she jumped up and flipped her body around to lie against my thigh.  I pet her as I continue to work on the computer.

Sometimes I forget how far we've come, but then I remember how when I first got her she would rather maul me.  I couldn't sit and work on my computer on the couch without regular jumping and mouthing and scratching. 

We have adjusted to each other.  She now craves positive strokes and has learned how to get that. 

In two weeks, it will be her "Gotcha Day."  October 16 I took in this wild beast and she turned my life upside down. 

For all the challenges though, she has become my best little sidekick.  She is sweet and funny and finds delight in life where I forget to notice it. 

She's now sitting at my feet chewing on a dog toy, completely ignoring the flip flops right beside her.  She used to steal them and chew them, but now she looks in disgust at such actions.  She really is such a good dog.  She would never toilet inside the house or show aggression to a child.  She's just ... intense.

But I've never known a dog who shares joy around quite like her.  From her visits to the fellows at the nursing home where I used to live to sullen teenagers, Ziggy knows how to look them right in the eye and be happy to see them.  And they're happy to see her, too. 

In the hands of somebody better qualified than me, perhaps Ziggy would have moved past her reactivity and obnoxious inability to calm down when overstimulated.  She wouldn't pull on the leash during walks or jump on visitors.  I own it: I haven't been the best trainer.  OH, I have taught her all the basic commands, but there's no way to get her to immediately come when called if there's something more interesting the other direction. 

But I love her and she loves me, and because of our relationship she has come miles.  She is happy and safe, and she greatly enhances the quality of my life.  There's nobody I'd rather spend time with every day than her. 

And honestly I think that loving her is more important than being a grade A trainer.  I saw how she responded to expert trainers (before being expelled) - she refuses to learn from people she doesn't love. 

Recently I heard a talk on PTSD and how the constant flooding of the brain with cortisol rewires it.  They were talking about people, but it rings so true with Ziggy.  Whatever happened in her first year of life made her synapses fire in a way most people would consider deficient.  It makes handling her difficult because she just doesn't process information in a way that makes sense to me.  So I remember a student I had once who had been horrifically abused and how she would overreact to things, and how she taught me to be successful with her. 

Patience and love matters a lot. 

Dog brains and people brains are different yet a lot of the same processes are at work.

And maybe Ziggy's brain will never be "normal," but she has made tremendous strides.  Some days are better than others, and when she's overmaxed then I know to close the blinds and reduce her stimulus inputs.  She can't help that her brain misfires.  She doesn't want to be insane.

We have an appointment with the dog psychologist (veterinary behavioral specialist) in December, and I look forward to hearing from an expert.  I may put her on meds to help her get through the tough times.  I've always been resistant to meds because the people recommending that have her all mislabelled.  She's not hyper, she's energetic with an inability to handle too much stimulus. When it's just her and me, she doesn't do any of the things people consider hyper.  One friend was laughing at her ADHD, but her paying attention to every new thing rather than sticking with one focus makes her a good watch dog. 

Ziggy is just a special dog in a lot of ways. 

pup stomach

Ziggy has stomach upset, which she helped me understand by pooping diarrhea very near me.  Out in the yard, totally appropriate, just funny for how well she communicates with me.  Well, that and I can hear her stomach grumbling from a room away.  Poor baby.

We tried papaya but not enough so she got Kaopectate.  I mixed it up with some white rice and chicken, and she obediently lapped it up. 

I so appreciate her willingness to take medicine and not give me attitude.  I also so appreciate her willingness to never soil the house.  That may of course change when she's 15 and unable to navigate stairs, but for now she is so very well house-trained. 

That was the last of the kaopectate, so I'll plan to go get some pepto-bismol for her.  Poor baby just keeps trying to lie down but has to keep moving, her innards betraying her. 

She was wound up so very tight last night, with behaviors I haven't seen for many months.  INability to calm.  Pacing, panting, barking at slightest provocation, just so very on edge. 

mat

With travel and visitors and such, Ziggy training has fallen by the wayside.  But today we picked it up again, to make more concrete the command "mat." 

I'm still trying to come up with a hand signal for "mat" beyond pointing to it. 

For whatever reason, Ziggy was really challenged about pointing when I first got her - she did not understand it at all.  We've overcome that (unless: shenanigans where she pretends to not understand even when she does).*  But she will reliably go to "mat" as soon as she understands it, as good things happen there.  Sometimes she just lies on it for comfort, though she has two beds and two couches and lots of other spaces to lie on. 

She will hold mat well, even now letting me go out of sight before i call her, trusting that I will.  She immediately bounds to me, happy and proud of herself. 

And I'm trying to follow Karen Pryor's training on a dog overreacting with people at door, but here's my problem.  Ziggy will hold "mat" for a pretty long time, and I can walk to the door and jiggle the knob, and if she knows nobody is there she will hold it and watch me.  She's reliable about this.

But if we add in somebody actually here, all bets are off.  All training is immediately completely evaporated from her brain.

This makes it hard to train because it's not the training.  Ziggy learns very easily and happily.  It's that her brain short circuits with any kind of stress and she becomes a melted puddle of freak-out.  OHMYGOD THERE'S SOMEBODY HERE HE MIGHT BE AN AX MURDERER OR READY TO HAND ME FRESH STEAK OR BOTH.

To call her reactive is such an understatement.  It's better explained as: she becomes a complete wild beast and unable to respond to anything civilized until the stressor passes.

Sigh.  





*My BFF noted several examples of how Ziggy is clearly very bright.  For example, she is fed kibble in a treat ball that she pushes around to make the kibble roll out.  Whenever nearing a high couch or any other spot where it could get stuck, she carefully navigates it away.  I hadn't even noticed that.

good instincts

Yesterday Ziggy got out when my friend was WD-40ing the door hinges, and she ran down the stairs and of course chased birds in the neutral ground.

Then she ran to a house and wanted to go in the backyard.  Because ... ?  So she went under the house to get around and into the backyard, where she was pretty well contained but wouldn't come and I wasn't crawling under or breaking into the backyard. 

A mother and young daughter came out to see what was going on and they were so lovely.  They had noticed me and Ziggy before but I had never noticed them.  I think they moved in recently, perhaps after a marriage split.  We chatted a bit as I held a hyper dog at the end of a leash - she asked about the push mower I use, the little girl was very interested in Ziggy.  "She wants a dog so much, but I don't know about that.  We'll start a cat."

Anyway, I really like them.  You know how some people you just like their energy right off the bat?  That's them.  And, it seemed like the mom was looking for a friend, which is great.  Plus, now if Ziggy gets loose they know who to let know. 

Thank you, Ziggy, for the introductions.  Naughty dog.

true nature

Ziggy is a beast when it's me + company.  Take either out of the equation and she's chill.  But bring other people when I'm around and she is like a Tasmanian devil.

But the good news is, she's more attentive to me.  If I call her, she comes.  If I tell her "leave it," so far she's actually backed off. 

in a past life

Today Ziggy's past life regression was done, and here are some highlights:

Ziggy and me coming together wasn't what I was looking for or what we were looking for; it was all about Ziggy wanting and needing to find me.

Before, I was an old man and she was my hunting dog, and we were super closely bonded.  I was solitary and she was my sole companion.  Then we went out hunting and she got lost in the water and I couldn't find her and I had to return home but I came back for weeks looking for her.  She was found by poorer people who kept her chained and we never reunited.

Another life, I was a young girl and she was my puppy; she died at about a year old of a disease we now vaccinate against.  Because of this, Ziggy is stuck at puppy stage and views the world that way.  We were in a wealthy family and as they often are quite lonely, and the girl and puppy very closely bonded.

So that's all interesting.  She also said she sees Ziggy living to be 16 or 20 years old and .. wait, what?  20 years for a big dog? 

She says that healing our untimely separations will heal Ziggy.  That would be lovely. 

love at first sight

Ziggy and I did not have love at first sight - in fact, the opposite.  She was not impressed with me and I tried to give her up because she was so overwhelming. 

We love each other now, but that took months.  I now feel her as like an extension of me, or I of her - we move in rhythm that works for us.  I mean, I'll be glad when she's no longer a puppy and wants to nap more than play, but I love her enthusiasm and cheer. 

But meeting my best friend for the first time - oh good lord, it's like the dog and her had been BFFs since eternity.  Instant bond.  And Ziggy adores her sister - who when taking a nap, Ziggy climbed up and laid beside her, putting her head on the sister's shoulder, and the sister held her paw.  Ziggy doesn't let me anywhere near her paws since I TWICE cut her to the quick and hurt her. 

The nieces are more meh.  They're young adults and Ziggy thinks they act too cool. 

Also, I did not fall in love at first sight with the animals at the shelter. 

I just love my dog.  I wish all the other dogs well, but they stink. 

friends

A friend came over today and Ziggy was an obnoxious maniac.  "I don't mind her jumping, but her claws are so sharp."  Oh, actually they're really dull compared to usual.  Sigh.  We really need to work on this.  Even when I gave her a bully stick, she ate it while staring at my friend, and when my friend made some gesture Ziggy came right to her and ate it at her feet and the instant she finished she jumped up again. 

She was also shedding like crazy, which is what she does when she's stressed out.  I think that her nature is to be very protective - that's her breed, that's who she is.  But she is mannerly enough to not be aggressive, but she's still just a big mess about it all.  It so stresses her out to have people over but she also likes it, and it's all just turmoil.

And I have four people coming to stay for a week.  Actually I think that will be easier for her.

She immediately went to sleep when my friend left, completely exhausted from the whole encounter.  The friend was here for hours and we did all sorts of things like me having Ziggy hold on mat and I treat her every so often, me doing work in kitchen and Ziggy waiting watchfully.  But Ziggy is just a jackass because she'll sit pretty and my friend will lean down to pet her and Ziggy will jump up to plant a big kiss on her lips.  Which NOBODY LIKES.  Because she is also headbutting.

Sigh.

My friend she'd report to her mom that "Ziggy is as advertised."  Which cracks me up.  She also said it'll be quite a while before she'll bring her daughter over, who is spooked by dogs.  And while Ziggy is so much better behaved with kids than adults, I agree with that decision.

Then I needed to do errands and I gave Ziggy a treat and she happily took it but as soon as I reached for the door she threw it and ran for me.  Good grief.  She's so melodramatic, because when I came back she had eaten it.  Unlike when she's truly upset.

I think that not crating her makes her more excitable - she hears and interacts with sounds outside more.  Plus I made the stupidest mistake by saying early this morning: "Ziggy, your friends are coming today!"  Of all the things for her to understand, that's what she does, and all day she waited for her friends, getting excited about everything.

homecoming

I returned home to a dog who was VERY happy to see me.  As soon as she heard me at the friend's house she pushed the curtain to see me and then was ready to come through that door to get to me.  Fortunately it was opened before she wrenched it open. 

She's been very sweet and loving, but now her jackass is coming out again.  She's decided stealing my flip flops is the thing to do.  I disagree.  We have come to words over this. 

She likes the attention.  Tonight I was able to grab her with it and shook her scruff a bit and shouted "No!" while shaking the flip flop at her.  She looked at me completely understanding and completely without any fear.  Then just a few minutes later she grabbed it and ran and I chased her and she froze at the dog door and came to me and dropped it and then sat with me.  She knows I won't punish her if she gives up the prize.

How much longer will she go through these fits and starts of jackass?  Because if you had asked me a week ago if she still stole shoes, I would have 85% certainly told you no.  And she sniffed my friend's shoes but didn't show any interest in stealing them. 

No, just mine. 

Asshole.

she knows

Oh this jackass dog knows I'm leaving her and she's pulling out all the stops.

She just ate half a lime to spite me.

She pulled the insoles out of my garden shoes.

Yesterday she ripped my shorts when grabbing the frisbee.  I'd like to think it was an accident, but she didn't mark my skin in the slightest, so I'm skeptical.

This morning's walk was awful - a dog walked up on us when I wasn't paying attention, and Ziggy lost her marbles for the whole rest of the walk.  Constantly overvigilant. 

This poor puppy. She does not handle stress or change all that well. 

But, there are few people I trust to take care of her like these people so it will be fine.  They underestimate her volatility, but on the flip side it means that they expect more of her than I do and she seems to rise to their expectations pretty well. 

Ugh, getting up by 4 am tomorrow, on the road.

so many things to love about this dog

When I'm eating something, she is curious but knows it's not for her so she goes to her kibble and eats so that we dine together and she doesn't beg. 

When the washing machine finishes, she has taken to coming to me to tell me - she whines to tell me it's time to hang the laundry on the line. 

She tries to stay the night in my bed with me and sometimes can last until I'm asleep, but she only does it like an adult trying to put their child to sleep and she leaves as soon as she can't stand it anymore. 

Yesterday when she got out of the house, she ran to the neighbors and then came back to me and came in the house with no problem.

She is learning to jump with delight without making contact with me.  She loves jumping, I love not getting scratched - this is winning. 

Today we walked past Black Dog's house.  He no longer comes down the stairs to say hello - I'm not sure the reason for sure, but it seems to cause him some pain to go down the stairs - but also he was .  She is so over him.  She wasn't pulling to get there, she barely looked for him, and she just kept walking.  "He's just not that into us, person.  So we're not into him." 

sit and wait

Today I got home and opened the door, unsure of what I'd find.  It's Day 2 of Ziggy being home alone all day, out of her crate. 

What I found was a dog sitting at attention just inside and watching me patiently to get the door open. 

Not distraught, not upset, not jumping hyper.  Just sitting to greet me. 

Are our crate days behind us? 

She was pretty upset when I left without her though, rushing the door to go with me.  She is a loyal sidekick. 

We've both been a bit under the weather but we're coming around.

This is going to show I"m off the deep end, but I regularly sniff her, burying my face in her fur.  Why?  Well, her smell reflects her health.  When stressed, she smells quite bad. 

Despite our boring life, I think she's pretty happy.  She's lying on the floor now, chewing on a bone, and she decided to roll on her back and rolls into a favorite toy that now she's chewing on - she holds it up in paws and lets it dangle down on her face.   

I know I need to work on training with her.  Today I got pissed off at somebody walking her big Doberman on-leash with two chihuahuas that were off leash and chasing us.  Which means that when we got to Black Dog's house, he wouldn't come down to say hello.  He looked down on all this mess and he was like, "Oh fuck no.  No drama for me."  I couldn't coax him.  I think he has arthritis or another pain, I see him limping, but still - he usually comes down the stairs for us.  He could also be miffed because yesterday Ziggy kind of blew him off - he came down and they greeted briefly and then she was done and we walked away.  She was too cool and I wasn't arguing.  He's a sweet dog but he's Lab-stinky. 

big girl 'houla

Today I left Ziggy out of her crate when I went to work.  Granted, I only worked for four hours before rushing home, but still - this is a big step.

The reason for keeping her in her crate is that she seems to feel safe there.  When I get home at the end of the day, she doesn't seem upset at all.  She loves going into it because she gets chicken.  No drama.

But I worry about things like "What if something happens to me?"  If something were to happen to me and she were in her crate, that would be awful.  If she is out, she can bark at my tenant (studio apartment) or in the backyard at the neighbors who would recognize (hopefully!) that she has been abandoned.  I can leave her with more food and water.  All that.  By the time I would wake in a hospital bed, I could call somebody to pick up the dog - and while it would not be nice to leave her unattended for long, she could survive.  She could not if she were trapped in a kennel. 

So, she was super happy to see me when I got home.  She met me at the door and jumped and happy danced.  We are going to take that down a notch, but she seems fine.  She's here beside me on the couch, her head resting on my leg. 

She is a good dog.  I don't want to develop separation anxiety or anything such.  I'll go slow. 

best served cold

Lest I give the impression here that life is a bed of roses, let me give a fuller picture.

Walking her is always a challenge.  First there's her obnoxiousness when we first head out and convincing her that pulling isn't going to get her there faster, and then there are all the things she'll lunge at and all the dogs riling her up. 

She riles up.  Desperately so.  There is a lot of two hands on the leash and wrapped around for a good grip.  She is not a calm dog, at all.

Nor is she compliant.  She was proudly bringing the frisbee inside and I told her no, confiscated it and threw it out and she just brought it back in and jumped on the bed with a daring look.  So I took it and put it on top of the dresser and walked away.  She could have gotten it, but she's quite good about not ever taking things from on top of furniture, even if it's hers. 

But what she did do is grab my flip flop and run out the door.  "Fair is fair.  Eye for an eye, shoe for a frisbee," she taunted. 

This dog.  Sassy pants. 

I've had a lot of dogs who were revenge-motivated.  We would always joke about how Selma would make us pay later for anything.  But Ziggy?  Oh, this dog can hold a grudge and plot. 

puppy gone good

We went to visit friends tonight and Ziggy was AWESOME.  She hardly jumped or mouthed at all.  She was happy and friendly and sweet.  She sat at people's feet for them to pet her.  She was adorable and charming.  She came whenever called, she sat whenever asked. 

THIS IS THE DOG I'VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT.  I KNEW SHE WAS IN THERE.

And now she's exhausted.

She was happy to get there, she was happy to be there, and she was happy to leave.  Mostly happy to leave.  But she was glad about it all.

Finally I feel like I can take her places.

So ... what next?

Well, we have to deal with her obsession with cats.  She's out of control about that.  I'm afraid the only thing that will cure it is getting her a cat.  And honestly, I tried.  A friend was adopted by a teenage tabby and good god I want that cat.  It is so adorable.  I've begged and pleaded but the friend is beyond smitten.

Why can we have our own kitten show up?  Ziggy would be Over The Moon.

OK, progress.  Bit by bit.  

weekends

As the weekend progresses, Ziggy becomes more connected.  She has to investigate everything, always be present.  She tries to stay out of the way, but even if I'm just crossing the room, she has to cross the room and see what's up. 

By Sunday evenings we are so close, I swear she can read my mind.

And then Monday comes, and I leave her for many hours and every Monday evening is the pits.  She's belligerent and rough, won't mind at all.  Obnoxious and hyper and naughty. 

And she calms down through the week, and then it all starts again.

city mouse

I long to move out to the country, a cabin in the woods with 100 acres of my land and adjoining a national forest.

But Ziggy?  Nah.  She just wants to roam free in a subdivision.

She's been really amped up this weekend and I knew we needed to go out this morning, have an adventure.

We headed out.  I hit a dead end at railroad tracks and saw lots of open space so out we went and I let her off leash and rather than running free in the wide meadow like area she beelined straight across the street (more of an alley, with no traffic anywhere) and ran to a big boat in a yard and got super excited.  So apparently in Ziggy's past she WAS a water dog, but on a boat.  Then she went to the front door of the house and stood staring in through the glass door with her tail wagging and a smile on her face as though they just forgot to open the door for her; I'm sure that the inhabitants of the house were very surprised to have such an outgoing Catahoula trying to convince them to let her in.

She would look over at me but she was NOT coming back over to the side without people and she took off down the block.  I caught up with her a couple houses down where she was trying to burrow under a fence that had a dog on the other side who was very confused with this whole situation.  She turned around to see me walking up with a very happy look - "Oh good, you got here!  Give me a hand - let's go under here!" and wasn't too happy when I clipped her leash back on and insisted on not breaking into the yard, but she was ok.

Then I kept driving out to where I planned.  We tried to go to the road that I really want to walk on (gravel, little or no traffic, no houses around), but it really is under construction (which is what the strongly worded multiple signs said that forbade entry, but I had to try) and I saw people working with heavy equipment, so we turned back around.

We went where I let her run off-leash before and she ran right down to the swamp and I heard a lot of splashing so she was chasing something in.  She was running fast and free and when she got too far up I called out and told her that and she cheerfully looped back and started to run back to me but then something caught her eye across the street and she beelined down the ridge and over.  I shouted but she was not coming back and then a car appeared so I didn't want her to run back .  I followed and she was investigating a bunch of garbage somebody had dumped (that's such a thing here, ugh), and she peeped out from behind an old mattress.  "Look!  A treasure trove!" she was delighted to report.  I called her to me and she came and I gave her a treat and some water and clipped her back on.  Sigh.

Then we walked along the levee and it was fine because it's really cool right now - a big storm just rolled out and another looks to be rolling in.  Usually it's miserable to walk on a paved levee in the summer, it just radiates so much heat and the direct sun is unbearable.  But this was pretty enjoyable, but she kept trying to pull me down the levee and over to the houses where there were people and dogs.

Ziggy loves people and dogs more than she loves being alone with me.  She is very gregarious and thrives on a party.  She is so NOT like me.

But maybe I need to get over my idea that we need to live off the grid somewhere, letting Ziggy have a life of chasing wild animals.  She is a city dog, who loves population density and Popeye's.  Unfortunately for her I will not ever intentionally let her run free on city streets, which is her very favorite thing to do.  Fortunately for me, whenever that happens she comes back and/or cheerfully lets me catch her pretty quickly.

It's pretty clear from today - she has no interest in running away from me, she just wants to have fun.  Even when she was taking off away from me, she was keeping a close eye on where I was and making sure I was following her.  If it weren't for roads, I likely would have run the other direction and called her and I'm 95% sure she would have followed.

Now, I need her to not take off at all, and I need her to 100% come when called, and I need to be able to trust her judgment (that she won't piss off alligators who can eat her).  She will always want to have fun, which is really pretty darn charming.  She delights in life.  This is what is good about having a dog, the belief that the world is a fun place to explore.  I have a sidekick for whatever comes down.

And she is not to 100% obedience yet, and maybe she never will be, but she will continue to improve.

And we will keep trying to find good places to let her run free, because that is the only thing that can take the edge off for her ... and probably for me.  She is the city mouse, but I am very much country mouse.  We'll find our common ground.

my little protector

"No more!" Ziggy said, forcefully pushing my laptop off my lap and then sitting herself in that position - something she has never done.  I can't remember her ever sitting actually on my lap before.  She'll sometimes have her chin on my thigh, but never like this. 

She could feel my rage rising - seeing David Duke running for Senate is really upsetting.  So she made me stop reacting to it, and just sit and pet her. 

"We'll be ok.  I can take out the Klansmen in their stupid sheets. I've been practicing, didn't you notice the gnawholes in those sheets?"

the bond with the vet

I've recently learned of a small vet practice not far from me and one of the vets is into yoga and such.  The vibe from their website and reviews is totally me and Ziggy, and they're near which is so nice.

My current vet is a haul away and I don't like his staff very much with the exception of the "professional hugger" who meets Ziggy in the parking lot and sneaks her in the back way for me. 

And the vet is ... he's old school.  He's not interested in giving Ziggy medications, he says I need to train her with a choke chain.  And I disagree with that method especially with her (the choke chain, not the training obviously), but his vibe with Ziggy is really good.  He loves animals and he sees all the good in Ziggy that is sometimes hidden.  He may very well have saved her life - I went to him for her post-quarantine rabies check after The Bite, and when I very upset asked if I should give her back to the shelter, he was just not having that.  At all.  But instead of calling me out (and to be fair, I'd only had her a couple of weeks and she was WAY more than I knew how to handle), he just ignored that as something that did not compute.  Of course not.  She was my dog and I would train her and she would someday be good.  She was obnoxious, but she was a Catahoula rescue puppy, within normal parameters for that.

Had I taken Ziggy back to the shelter after she'd been investigated as "dangerous and aggressive" ... well, I can't even think about that.  So, he probably saved her life by taking that option entirely off the table.  And this was right before I had to travel for work and I realized I couldn't leave her at any of those doggy day care places while I traveled, which had been my plan.  He made suggestions and said that while his facilities wouldn't be the most desirable for her, he would board her any time, no problem. He took what seemed impossible and made it all possible. 

And, his prices are the most reasonable.  I always feel like I'm getting a good bargain for the quality of care.  And my understanding is that he volunteers a lot of surgical care for rescue societies.  He's good people whom I want to support.

So, to give him up just because the drive there is awful, and it's hard to manage with Ziggy in their parking lot and office because there's no time that's not busy? 

When we were there last, the vet tech said the vet was asking which dog was coming up and the vet tech said, "The really aggressive and dangerous Catahoula," and they both laughed at the absurdity of that.  And I could laugh then too (this was months later, when she cut her paw), but they did not make light of my situation in any way when I was there for that.  They wrote exactly the letter that needed to be written to the animal enforcement, and they faxed and mailed it and gave me a copy and told me what number to call to follow up, and exactly what to say.  He was all business, while I was so overwhelmed, and it was exactly right.

So, yeah.  Maybe if he retires I'll look for a vet closer, but until then, he's clearly our guy. 

over there

We are sitting here on the couch, my pup and me.  I invited her up when the rain came down and she is resting against me so long as I pet her.  "Isn't it nicer to have a home like this than to live on the street," I ask her, but she's still weighing pros and cons. 

How long until this dog decides to choose me?  Will she ever?  Was the rift caused by other(s) abandoning her too deep to ever heal? 

I like to take off her collar because that's where she sheds the most so I want to brush her neck, and she looks better without it and it lets her neck rolls be less bunched up.  But she hates having it removed, she gets really nervous and today it looked like she was trying to put it back on herself.  HOw on earth does she make sense of any of that?  She can't possibly understand her name tags on it or any of that. 

She left me to sit on the chaise near the window, to look out.  Not convinced she's where she wants to be.

Ziggy prozac

This morning when we walked, the loose big pit bull was out - Ziggy stopped and looked and then I looked, and the guy held it on the porch, and Ziggy just kept walking.  No fuss.  And when we walked past the Rottweiler that barks viciously and is chained in the front yard, she actually laid down, as if he wasn't even there (after she looked carefully to see what was up).

At one point we walked past a vacant lot and from somewhere a black cat came roaring out to attack Ziggy, who attacked back.  I was startled but kept a hold of her and we kept going - and Ziggy just like totally took it in stride.  None of her freaking out behavior - just, "OH, hey, whatever, it happens."

Dude.  WHATEVER, IT HAPPENS?!  Where is my dog? 

She did give me her normal hijinks when we approached a house - the view to the yard was blocked by big truck, etc., but a dog was barking crazy.  There's never been a dog there before so we were curious, but it's also a low fence and ... we walked out in the street and Ziggy barked and danced and I calmed her down.  So, she's still herself.  and, she just barked at a woman walking across the street, but she did let the neighbors come home without any barking. 

Who ever knows what's in this dog's brain?  I sure don't.  She's a mystery. 

But, I think her time with Roux is helping her not be so reactive. 

Houdini

One of Ziggy's skills is to untie knots.  I discovered this when I had her long line out and it got all tangled.  I gave up unknotting it in frustration and left it on the ground, where she picked it up.  Within minutes, all the knots were undone. 

She did it again last night with rope toy that had a ball knotted on the end. It took her a little time, but soon it was all apart.  "Look!  I made two toys out of one!"  Sure, Ziggy. 

One of my biggest fears is that she will discover she can climb out of any fence.  Catahoulas are known for climbing trees, and she has the best tree-climbing claws of any dog I've ever seen.  Better than a bear, even.  She can turn her paws and extend her nails significantly, and she uses her paws and nails to manipulate objects all the time, very much like a cat. 

My backyard is a 6' high wooden fence.  Ziggy could be out and over it in no time ... if she wanted to.  Thank all that is goodness and light that she doesn't want to, that she would rather come inside to the air conditioning. 

Ziggy's very best friend is a golden retriever named Gus.  From the first time they met, they were so happy to be together.  He adored her - he's the one dog I know who barks at her to get her attention and she uses calming signals to make him mellow.  He's not hyper or anything, he just loves Ziggy so very deeply. 

Gus's owner's husband didn't like having a dog and so she left Gus with her sister in the country.  And he ran away.  And they never found him.

This is devastating to think of the sweetest puppy ever being lost and hurt somewhere.  I wish that I had convinced her to let me take him.  Gus was a roamer, probably in part at least because he wasnt neutered until he was nearly two years old.  He was left alone outside a lot, and so he learned to dig out and escape. Looking for adventure and love.

And he wasn't microchipped.

Do I sound judgmental?  Maybe I am a little bit.  MOstly because I want to learn from the mistakes and not lose Ziggy.

Ziggy has pretty good sense - she knows where her bread is buttered.  And when we go out hiking, I let her run off leash because she always stays near.  But ... what if she doesn't once?  What if she follows a flock of turkeys and loses me?

This is a balance I have to strike.  We both really enjoy off-leash time, which i never do in the city or near roads.  Except when at the cabin and I let her off and once or twice she took off towards the main road to check out the neighbor's garbage or something.  She's so funny - she saw something that caught her attention on the first drive in and she was obsessed about investigating ever since.  And she comes back, always.  Once I started my truck and started driving toward the road and she came bursting out of the forest.

One thing Ziggy cannot abide: being left out of anything fun or the potential of an adventure, which my truck often provides.

Ziggy stays with me because she wants to - she remembers life as a stray and she knows regular feedings (when I remember!) is better.  She lets me catch her when she gets loose. She no longer tries to run out the front door whenever it's open but instead only wnats to go out when she's on leash.

And she has a very strong healthy fear of roads.  She always pulls when we're crossing a street because she doesn't like to be in them, and I don't stop that.  I want her to keep her good sense about the danger of cars.

So, her adventures will be managed to magically untied rope toys and leashes, and off-leash walks in the forest that I have sanctioned.  Here's to never losing her!

worst dog mom ever

I forgot to feed my dog.

IT probably wasn't more than 30 hours or so, and she had snacks in between.  A dog treat, a carrot, a bit of banana.

Still ... yikes.  That explains why she was barking at me last night. 

I'm so lost in my head with schoolwork.  No excuse.  Now, to be fair, Ziggy could lose a few pounds.  I don't think she's fat, but she's not skinny. 

We went to see her dog friend today and he was sooo happy when we came in the yard and they frolicked and all was good ... until she started barking at him.  He came to me to ask me to get her to stop and I'm like, "Dude, if I knew how, I would."  We left when she wouldn't.  Which is unfortunate, as they are going to have an overnight soon, and I won't be there.  I'll give them the crate and the baby gate and tell them to give her time outs when she's naughty.  They are very good dog people, it'll be fine.  I hope.  Ziggy can wear down every mortal I've met.

Roux, her friend, has the happiest happy gallop, and he was over the moon delighted to see both of us.  He's always been happy to see me, but he was also very happy to see her, which is good.  He jumped on me which was unusual, but oh well.  Not the first dog scratch I've had this month.  They get a little pissy with each other - they are both very spoiled only dogs, so it'll be a little rough. 

It's making it clearer to me - Ziggy won't be getting a pal.  Her lack of socialization has made her a bully.  Roux handles it pretty well, first coming to me to intervene, and then trying to play along with her and then grabbing at her legs, which makes her dodge and repel him.  He's like, "Hey, if you're going to do what I don't like, I'm going to do what you don't like."  I think she'll figure it out.  He's no weak-willed submissive dog - he'll let her know what's up.  He growled when she approached his toy, but I took them both away and then the dogs were fine.  She just gets so worked up to be someplace new and doesn't know how to handle a playmate.  She was good with the people again, and except for her barking good all around.  The two of them have an ease with each other now - at one point Roux came to me to be pet and Ziggy came too and then she was done so she crouched down to walk under him.  He's a long-legged lanky dude but it was still hilarious and showed that they are ok with physical proximity.  Which was not the case always.  The first time they met, there were some issues and it ended in blood - he nipped her ear which bled a lot.  So, slow and steady reintroduction and we're doing pretty good.  Here's hoping for a very good overnight visit. 

I found an all-natural tick repellent which I'll give a try - https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B004T3C0P2/ref=ox_sc_act_title_3?ie=UTF8&psc=1&smid=APKJD6XSINJFP.  I'll also get tick remover just in case.  I hate ticks, but I also worry about the diseases they transmit in addition to being super creeped out by them. 

Not the scholarly type

This dog is so done with school.

trained

Ziggy has me very well-trained, I realize  sometimes.  Like in the mornings, she now regularly gets a treat to say good morning.  She has made this happen by sitting watchfully outside the kitchen as I make my coffee, being a very good dog whom I wanted to reward.  But now it's an every day kind of thing.  She loves that morning snack so it's hard for me to say no to a very good dog. 

She likes routines and rewards, and who doesn't? 

I'm wondering again about her backstory - she had to have had cats with her.  The way she uses her paws to bat things and how she tucks them in like a cat.  Also, whenever she sees a cat she gets super excited - even more than she does with a dog now. 

I wish I liked cats enough to get one for her.  I know she needs a friend, but another dog is seeming less like a good idea.  Ziggy likes being an only dog in many respects, and she's recently been showing some jealousy of her friend when he's here.  Not much, just wanting to be sure he's not getting  a treat without her.  He is pretty stand-offish and not pushy at all like her so it's fine - he's usually not wanting to be around people anyway.  I first met him the day they adopted him and he and I have always had a more affectionate relationship than he does with anybody else, but he's not jealous of Ziggy.  He's very mild-mannered, as they said and I agree.  He's the opposite of Ziggy, who is would very tight. 

I contacted the dog trainer over the weekend, knowing I need some professional intervention to keep us on track because I've gotten lazy.  ON Monday he said to call but I was so busy, so I called on TUesday.  Then I followed up with email.  He said he'd call yesterday, but no word.  Um ... that doesn't seem very professional. 

And now Ziggy is telling me it's time to go for a walk.  It's like she can tell time because at exactly the correct time of when "oh good grief, it's so late I need to go walk if I'm going to or Ill be late to work" she came and sat to stare at me. 

This dog is so adorable.  Maybe she's like Luther, my anger translator.  I convey a calmer demeanor than I feel on the inside - I always want to tell people off for their ridiculousness and rarely do, and Ziggy feels no need to be similarly contained. 

good pup

Last night I was out cutting the grass in the front yard with Ziggy on a tether and a couple approached on the other side of the street with their little dog on a leash.  I stood with Ziggy and pet her and calmly spoke with her, and while she watched closely she didn't bark, lunge, or even tense up to play.  She just watched completely calmly.

Woot!

This morning we went to see the black lab and its owner was there.  I asked about selling her house and she said it's too much for her but she doesn't know where she's going.  Since her arm is bandaged (broken? surgery? I don't know) she said she hasn't been able to take her dog out and I volunteered to let him play in my backyard.  "Oh, I don't even probably still have a leash for him." OK, woman, your arm ain't been bandaged so long that you lost a leash.  You don't take your dog out and that's nothing new, just own it.

It doesn't matter.  He's a good pup, Ziggy learns a lot from him, and he's invited here.  I'll drop off my phone number with her.  We'll see how it goes.

I have a lot of reading to do and have moved around as I do so, including lying down on my bed which is the room where the dog door to outside is.  Ziggy would lay on the floor beside me and then get up and go outside and I can hear her running around, enjoying her favorite toy (a plastic pot for a tree).  She comes storming back into the house to see what's going on - I'm in the same position and she goes back outside.

Then she came storming in with my garden shoe.  I had left them outside at the base of the stairs after mowing the grass the other day, and Ziggy wanted to let me know that I was forgetful because she came storming through the door with it in her mouth and ran right to me and as I reached down she pushed it into my hand and let go.  If I honestly have a dog who will remind me when I forget things, then I'm thrilled.  I'll also happily take a dog who brings me my things instead of ripping them up.  She long had a fascination with those shoes and while she never destroyed them she got a few teeth marks in. If those days are over or she's moved on, that good news. She's never really been destructive of anything but human skin, and that usually heals.

 ***
Ziggy is so ready for bed, and her sleeping spot is on the couch where I am right now.  She came and looked at me, and I know what she wants.  But rather than attacking me like she used to, or being a pain in the ass, she just laid down on the floor right beside me and is playing with a toy.  What a good dog. I just told her to kiss me and shake my hand, both of which she did with a bit of a sigh, but she did it.  She's so ready for bed and I'm in her way.  And she's right, it's bedtime. 

Before i even had it assembled

Ziggy claimed the new furniture as hers.

This sleepy dog

Is looking forward to me going to work tomorrow and letting her nap in peace.

off leash

The visit with friends seems to have taken the edge off Ziggy's workedupedness.  Thank goodness.  She's not so spun out this morning.  She didn't force me to wake up early, she just snuggled a bit and then went outside for quite a while.  Long enough that I was worried that perhaps she'd gotten out of the yard, but she has never tried that.  She did at my old house because there was a huge gap in the fence that I hadn't noticed, and then a big gap underneath the house that I'd missed.  While Ziggy has the potential to climb right over my fence now, a 6' wooden fence, thank goodness that she doesn't have the desire.  To play with the two dogs in adjoining lots (one is only very rarely out), she's fine with seeing them through the fence and running with them, no need to get actually face-to-face.  Which is good. 

We need more good dog friends, with weekly dog play dates.  Maybe I go back to my idea of fostering from the shelter, but Ziggy is still just too wound up.  Yesterday her barking at Roux when she got overstimulated reminded me that while we've come far there's still distance to go.  A few times of her getting to that point and then being removed from the situation should do it.  I need her to become the calm dog, as any foster dog would have its own issues that she would need to help calm and not agitate - which is what she likes to do now.  She can be such a sassy pants and egg other dogs on. 

I have so much reading and writing to do today which I'm having a really hard time focusing on.  Maybe we'll start with a long walk.  I need a productive day and that's a good start for us both.  I would love to take her out somewhere to run off-leash, but I still haven't found a place near enough for that.  I'm hoping that in September we can go back out to that cabin where we went before, though we'll need to find a tick preventative that doesn't affect us both so badly.  Such a shame as it works so effectively.  Oh well.

There is so much wonderful about my life here in New Orleans, but I still dream of a day when I'm finished with my degree and perhaps can get a different job that is nearby national forest land, where we can hike and run with wild abandon because I won't have homework and by then her manners will hopefully be to the point that I won't worry about a chance encounter with a person and/or dog with Ziggy off-leash.  I stand by my assessment that Ziggy is not aggressive, but I recognize that she can be unmannerly, which can agitate other dogs.  

All right, she's giving me all indications that we need to get out - bringing me toys, chasing her tail, standing and yawning at me.  "Move, person.  There's a world out there for us to explore."  I think we'll drive out along some railroad tracks - unlikely to find any shade so we won't want to walk far, bt perhaps there's some potential walking there, maybe some shell roads (what we call gravel or dirt roads here, because they were traditionally made with crushed oyster shells). Maybe not.  Won't know until I check it out.  Ziggy has been wanting to take a ride, so let's do it. 

***
We took the drive and found a spot that had some cleared area like a levee near some swampland so I let her off leash twice.  Unfortunately, my catahooligan is very interested also in the housing across the street.  She is a savvy street dog and knows houses = people = love and treats.  Fortunately I was able to intervene when she thought about crossing the street and she was all, "Oh, I wasn't going to go over there, I'm just here to poop in this area near the road."  Yeah, ok.  Just like when I said, "Hey Ziggy, want some water?" and was able to convince her to come to me and I could grab her to releash her, she was like, "Yeah, ok."  She knows my games, I know hers.  We live in a mutually feigned belief in bullshit society, and so long as she comes when called and doesn't run in front of cars, I'm perfectly fine with that. 

Unfortunately the road I really wanted to drive down was blocked off, all access restricted to active construction.  Boo.  While I did see a number of vehicles I didn't see active construction going on, so maybe next week we'll go even earlier and see if we can sneak that way - if traffic is blocked and nobody is around, it's a perfect place for Ziggy to run free.  But their signs are pretty onerous, requiring hard hats and safety gear to even enter the area where I want to let her run.  Maybe it's not a good spot after all.  We'll see.

The things I do for this dog ... 

 

friends and meds

Ziggy's friends came to visit and she was over the moon.

But it's only now, seven hours after they left, that she's really napping. 

She's been really worked up for days, so full of energy that she overwhelms me and drives me crazy.  She's not sleeping as much as used to and she's been waking me up entirely too early. 

I know that me painting the house and moving all the furniture out has worried her a lot.  She doesn't handle change all that well.  She worries.  She feels deeply.  She is not mild-mannered in the least.

And now I think for the first time: maybe some anti-anxiety meds would be good for her.  NOt all the time, not to change her personality, but when her feelings are so intense and she can't calm down, maybe a pill could help her weather the storm.  A drink to calm her nerves, so to speak. 

She is better now that the furniture is put back and it's obvious that we're not going anywhere and she can sleep on her couch again, but she has a hard time calming herself back down.  It takes time.

She got overstimulated with the other dog and after they'd played and were both resting, she suddenly began barking belligerently at him.  Her body was taut like a spring.  She didn't want to attack him, but she wanted him to play on her terms.  He's a very good dog, mild-mannered and a good sport, and he was like, "OK."  But Ziggy didn't know what she really wanted, what her terms were, and I could see her frustration rising.  Like a toddler heading toward a supermarket meltdown, Ziggy's belligerence escalates and erupts.  They didn't have any negative experiences at all, but it's still a little intense.  I'm very watchful. 

Roux, the other dog, likes to roughhouse and run and grab at her feet with his mouth.  She does NOT like having her legs pulled out from underneath her, and at first I intervened and told him she doesn't like that and he would stop.  Now she's learned to block it better and she'll turn her body so he can't get at her legs.  These are good skills for them to learn. 

Ziggy really really loves Roux's people and she is so good with them compared to how she is with other people, it's mind boggling.  She did though make them both bleed today - neither on purpose, but an inadvertent head butt on one and a little scratch on another led to a lot of blood because he's on a lot of blood thinners.  I felt bad but this is the way with my wild beast.  They are so very good with her, very patient and kind, and she adores them. 

when you have a Catahoula, you're never alone

"What are we doing now?  Is it going to be fun?  I"ll bet it's fun!  Let's go!" 

This is Ziggy's attitude about everything because she takes her role as my sidekick extremely seriously.  No shenanigans, she's got my back. 

You can imagine her delight when I started pulling up the masking paper in the living room.  For days she had to just see it there but suddenly she was allowed to YANK IT UP AND DESTROY IT.

She is a demolition dog.  If she were human, she would have a sledgehammer tattoo.  She loves ripping shit up.  That she very rarely does it (now) and only when it appears sanctioned speaks volumes to her character.  This is a dog who a month after I had her went out and dug up the sweet potatoes BECAUSE THEY WERE READY.  She had never seen me dig things up and yet there she was one day with sweet potato bits all over my bed from munching away. 

She is a delight and a terror.  she is a shameless spackle addict.

And never in my life has laundry been more fun, but all I have to say is, "You want to help me do laundry?" and this dog dances with delight.  Nothing anything more exciting has ever happened with those words than me carrying a basket of clothes downstairs, and yet she can get fired up over anything.  LAUNDRY IS FUN! she exclaims, and she leaps and waits for me at the head of the stairs - "ARe you really coming?  YAY!  YOU ARE COMING!" and she runs down, so happy. 

She does love this house and yard, which is a good thing because I did buy it for her.  But I like it too, of course. 

Freedom dreams

This has been a rough long weekend for both of us. Painting is not fun and despite her best efforts not much a Catahoula can do to help.

painting with a Catahoula

At the paint store, I'm trying to help the store clerk understand why I don't want to spill paint. 

"What kind of dog do you have?"

"A Catahoula."

"Oh, a real small dog."

I don't know that I've ever been so offended in my life. 

Also, the Catahoula is the Louisiana state dog.  How come New Orleanians who aren't from the country know nothing about them?  Well, I guess that just proves the point that they are country dogs.

Ziggy is being very helpful with the paint prep by licking the drywall patches smooth.  I'm hoping both that the spackle is nontoxic and that she will start climbing the ladder to hit the higher spots. 

I already know that we have to keep the paint up out of her range because she has previously eagerly drunk paint.  Lapping it up like water.  She pooped a lot of Eider White that day.

in search of nuanced responses

So, not only are chicken and bully sticks - her all-time favorite - not enough to distract Ziggy from barking at the AC guy at the door, but she's just decided treats aren't the way to her heart at all.  I tried to use a spoon of peanut butter to distract her from a padded envelope I had stupidly given to her as a joke, but she was not having it.  She eventually did relent, but she was making the choice.

Every time Ziggy has gotten loose and run away, she has very easily let me catch her.  I get a little run around, but she's never given me a fuss when I do catch her.  Now I know how much of a choice that is for her, because if she didn't want me to catch her there is no way I could, the little greased pig that she is. 

I can only think of four times that she's gotten loose - twice at my old house (before I fixed the fence; neighbors let me know each time) and twice here (once by the painter who was pretty high).  She doesn't really want to run away - if she did, she could easily climb over or burrow out of the yard.  I don't think she's really discontent, she just likes an adventure.  Who doesn't?  And she was a street dog before I got her, or so the shelter was told.

She is right now obsessed with a cockroach trapped in the vacuum container that I caught this morning, thinking it was dead.  It's not dead and it's moving in the plastic part she can see, and it's definitely got her attention.  I appreciate how she lets me know things that are out of the ordinary like that.  She no longer kills any crawling/flying bug that she sees, probably because she got stopped from killing lizards, but she does still let me know if she sees one.  I've killed two that way; fortunately there aren't a lot of roaches about. 

Now she's out yelling at the neighbor for being in his yard to move out his work van.  She likes being belligerent to him, and while I can get her to stop and distract her, she is all junkyard dog with him.  He seems to be a good sport about it - yesterday when she was barking at him and I told her to stop being a jerk - he offered to let me use his lawnmower because mine seems pathetic.  I mean, I guess he should appreciate her interest in his yard - she's a watchdog for them, too.  If somebody were to break into his work van, chances are that Ziggy would be going berserk. 

This is also the issue that I have about people coming to the door - I need to teach her to stand down when I tell her to, but she gets very worked up.  And I need different levels of stand-down - one for people I know and trust and she shouldn't be concerned about and she can greet friendly, and another for when I want her to stop barking but to pay close attention because it's a stranger.  I have not figured out how to teach her that, and so she is a firm protector of home with everybody.  She's having none of the calming work we've been trying - she goes straight to her amygdala and is in fight mode.  And this is biological - Catahoulas are known to be very protective of their people.  This is a major reason that I got her, and I do feel safer for having her.  I just want to have her be more nuanced. 

So, I need a training plan for that and a lot of people to come around and implement it, I guess.  I may reach out to the trainer who works with the behavioral vet to see if that's something he can help with because I'm kind of out of my depth on how to parse response behaviors but also because I need another person involved with this. 

Ziggy Stardust, teenager

And then Ziggy decides that she is going to have things HER WAY and there is NO ARGUING. 

OK, maybe that's more toddler than teenager. 

The HVAC maintenance guy came to the house and Ziggy caught sight of him before I could get her in her kennel. 

Ever chased a greased pig before?  That is what trying to corral Ziggy was like.  Chicken didn't work, bully stick didn't work, NOTHING WORKED.  I had to do a grab and drag.

Good lord.

So I got her in and gave her chicken and she was SCREAMING so on a pause I went in and handed her a bully stick through the bars.  She THREW IT OUT.  She was PISSED OFF.

Guess that whole relaxation protocol isn't working out so well for us.  I can't recall her ever fighting me like this.  That's not true - in the beginning she would scratch and mouth, and she did none of that this time - she just wouldn't go where I told her to go because her excitement to meet this new person trumped her obedience.

Sigh.  So, that's progress, right?  That she didn't make me bleed?

I'll take it. 

three-walk Ziggy has a lot of sass

This dog.  She got THREE walks today and she's still making me throw things for her. 

She needs a dog play date.

a rush, a calm response

Took Z. out for a short walk this morning.  When I want no drama I have a little route that takes me down blocks with no dogs.

However, the magical block with no dogs now has a dog, and it rushed us.  A huge pit bull mix came tearing off the porch and across the street and into the neutral ground, as her person was shouting for her.  We were walking near the neutral ground and she got pretty close.  I froze, trying to figure out the best situation, as the owner came barefoot off the porch to get the dog, shouting his apologies. 

During this, Ziggy was watching very attentively but allowed me to turn us around and walk slowly in the other direction.

"OK, I got her.  YOu're good," he shouted, and we turned around to continue our walk.  "She's friendly, but you never know with dogs," he said.  "Yeah she's a rescue so can be reactive with other dogs," I responded, "but this was a good reaction for her, so that was good."

Usually a dog rush is a very bad thing - it freaks Ziggy out and her cortisol levels spike through the roof and it takes a long time to calm her back down. Days even.  But this?  She had puppy interest but did not even bark or lunge once.  She pulled a bit as we walked past, but I can handle that - one of our strategies from the beginning has been if we see a dog to turn and walk very quickly in the other direction, which she learned and now she tries to walk very quickly past any stressor, which is huge progress for her.

I am just so proud of this catahooligan, you can't imagine.  Even two months ago the thought of her responding like this would have made me laugh riotously. 

Don't get me wrong - Ziggy isn't "fixed."  She will likely have a hangover from this interaction and will need to not have another stressor for awhile; she will get stressed whenever we walk past the house; she may flip out on another dog in the same situation.  This dog was rushing us and was big, but she wasn't really showing signs of aggression.  Understand that reading that is also huge - Ziggy's dog language has always been a little off.  I credit Black Dog with really helping her.  What a blessing he has been, that silly lab down the street.  I will be so sad when they move (the house is for sale).  I wouldn't say that he and Ziggy are good friends, but they are polite to each other and he has taught her language and signals through his fence.  I don't know how else we could have done that so well.

To see progress like this is so gratifying.  All the time we have spent on training, all the books I have bought and read, all the learning dog language and Ziggy's particular signs, all the going against what other people say to do what I know is best for my dog - it's paying off. 

Roux's mom says it's also about Ziggy growing up, which is also true.  And also about settling into life with me - it took us a really long time, but she's mostly adjusted.  She knows we'll go home to a quiet house. 

I'm thinking again about fostering dogs from the shelter.  I think Ziggy could be ready.  Am I?  Well, maybe I need to paint first.

My darling little Ziggy Stardust.  

my best girl

Quite possibly one of the best things that has happened to me in my adult life is that I wasn't allowed to give Ziggy back.

Things have been hard with her, I won't lie.  She's made truly remarkable progress* but things can still be rough.  If we leave the house I always have to think three steps ahead of her.

Something that I find really interesting is how much variation there is in how she views people.  This morning we saw a number of people and her reactions from a quick view ranged from dancing like a deer and crying with joy to see a man she's never seen before to watching a man with a slow, hard stare.  It freaked him out and he stared back and she stared harder with a, "Don't fuck with us" look.  She won't back down.  Most people she sees with curiosity - where are they going, do they need supervision? - and then we go on our way.  We saw the Black Dog and I think that our new normal is that they are really good together.  Ziggy is moody.  Not with me, but with other dogs she has definite moods of wanting to be playful or not.  This is why I think we probably won't get a second dog.  Today she was pretty playful and I wished we could have them run together.

But where Ziggy is truly remarkable is how she rises when I am stressed.  My stress doesn't stress her out, it makes her be really good.  It makes her show up and be present and comforting, doing unusual things like sleeping with me, sitting on my lap, pushing me to hug her, curling up next to me to pet her (best anxiety relief ever), etc.  Today I got home from work and she got out of the crate and we went to the living room and she jumped on the couch and as I sat down she was behind me and somehow ended up draped around my shoulders, like a stole.  A 55 pound stole who is usually not about this sort of thing, but we sat like that, cheek to cheek and it was so comforting, as if she was saying, "Hey, I LITERALLY have your back!"

Ziggy didn't choose me.  I still am under no illusion that I am her first choice.  There are many people she would leave me for in a hot minute, and I would just be dust in the rearview mirror without a second thought.

But through our life together and our training and everything, we have shaped ourselves to each other. I'd heard of Catahoula magic before, how they can read their owners' minds, and I thought it rubbish - but now I can see it.  I don't usually have to tell Ziggy to get off the bed when I want to change sheets, she just does.  For months when I got her, changing sheets was a horrible ordeal because she was out of control.  OH good lord this dog was such a monster.  But now it's not an issue usually.

We were roughhousing earlier and she now can hold back - she sometimes slips but generally no mouthing, no scratching, or very gently if so.  Contrast that to eight months ago when I would have gashes and bruises like crazy. 





*I have this twisted fantasy of calling up the trainer from before and arranging a session for Ziggy to show up and pay her no mind and be extraordinarily well trained.  That's a long way off, but I want to choreograph a dance of us together called IN YOUR FACE. 

independent outside

The good news:  Ziggy used the dog door fully on her own in the middle of the night (at 4 am).  First time, and I'm very proud of her. 

The bad news: her fitful sleep made mine also fitful and far too limited. 

Bad thunderstorms are rolling in and she's not a fan.  Lots of thunder and lightning and dark skies, though the rain hasn't hit yet.  But close.  Driving to work will not be fun.

She is quiet and sleepy and I worry about her when she is like this. 

I am always worried about her demise.  I thought that eight years since my last dog was long enough to wait, but her death still haunts me.  Losing her was hard.  And I am not Zen in any way about the thought of losing Ziggy. 

Perhaps I overprotect her, but if you within two weeks of getting a dog are visited by animal control officer threatening to take and kill your dog, your foundations feel shaky.  I do not want Ziggy to ever be in another situation that could lead to such an outcome.  She is reactive and unpredictable, and while she is getting better, it will always be my job to predict her from her crazy self.   

clicker out

Ms. Ziggy has decided that she doesn't like the clicker. 

Was trying to work on Dr. Karen Overall's Protocol for Relaxation* and Ziggy was doing ok.  Usually she whips through all that like nobody's business and it feels silly to even do the "sit 5 seconds.  sit 10 seconds" sort of things. But for whatever reason today after a few of the steps, she decided she was done.  I tried to come back to it an hour later and I noticed her ears go back with the clicker and she would not listen or do anything I asked.  So I put it away and asked her to sit and then she obeyed.

Great. 

Yes, the clicker has only ever been used appropriately.  I'm very careful with it and don't use it much.  She's never expressed an aversion to it before. 

It's just so hard when no expert can help.  This relaxation protocol is supposed to help her learn to calm when stressed. 

And yet, she is a wonderful dog.  Today she wanted exercise but it was fucking 97 degrees out.  We played frisbee a few times but it wasn't fun for either of us really, both seeking shade.  But she goes out on her own and pushes around the bucket, growling and howling at it.  She comes back in panting, ready to relax again.  I've been so lucky with dogs who do not take their energy out in destructive ways, but go outside and get their ya-yas out alone when there's no other option. 

How can I help her learn to keep her reactivity in check the same way?



*Found here: http://www.dogdaysnw.com/doc/Protocol_for_Relaxation-_Karen_Overall.pdf.

This isn't the best article she's read

frisbee

Ziggy is in a quiet mood today.  The walk this morning seems to have been hard on her somehow, and she is not her usual vivacious self.  This does make it easier for studying and I'm sure she'll rally.  It makes no sense to me how the heat is so hard on a dog that is specific to this region, bred of Indian dogs from red wolves over hundreds of years.  Well, we all do love our air conditioning.

After writing that, she rallied - at nearly precisely the time I get home from work most days.  We are in sync.  And I said, "Do you want to help me get the laundry?" and she danced around as she does, and I said, "And we can play some frisbee."

When we got outside (stifling heat, no shade in my backyard), Ziggy ran across the yard and picked up a frisbee and brought it to me - before I even left the courtyard, she had dropped it and stood back, ready to pick it up.  She's never done this before, so I think saying the word triggered it.  She is such a smarty pants, such a darling.

snoozing and losing

By the time I called to accept the appointment, it had already been taken.

You snooze, you lose. 

It's ok, I was kind of stressed about the drive.

And maybe this was just a good wake-up call for me to work with Ziggy on my own.  When I look back at how much progress she has made, I know I'm on the right track mostly.

Today we got to see Black Dog and while Ziggy initially wanted to be a jackass, she kept herself in check and they were both very good and she calm-signalled him so that he was all, "Wait, come back, I want more of you," but she was ready to keep on walking. 

Ziggy has charms.  When not out of control, she can charm people and dogs alike - she was called "Mayor of the Dog Park" when we used to go.  She has a friendly confidence that beings find appealing.  And that cute pink nose of hers.

OK, this means that my weekend is free again, which is good news in many ways.  I need to schedule two hours every weekend day and one hour most weekdays to focus on Ziggy: reading books, researching, and implementing training.  That's a lot, but I can do it.  If I do this, I can save myself a lot of money and time of having to drive to Houston to see the expensive vet (whom I am sure is totally worth it).

Summertime snuggles

Near but not quite touching.

appointment

When I called to make the appointment with the behavioral vet, the earliest was mid-October.  That's ok because it's a school break that week, but October is a really busy time for me around the house.

I just got a call about possibly having an appointment this Monday, bright and early. 

Oh lordy, that's something to consider.  I'd need to book a hotel and figure out logistics and ... it's a lot.  A lot of money, a lot of hassle.  It's a six hour drive each way.  It's hot, which means I can't leave her in the vehicle even for a minute to run inside to pee. 

In many other ways, this is perfect timing.  While I have a lot that I want to do, I don't have to.  I have another month almost with my big school project until due and taking off a day from work now is no big deal. 

Tempted.  Going to think about it.

Ziggy has made TREMENDOUS progress, as illustrated with the visit last weekend.  But ... what do I want from this vet?  To root out underlying issues, really deal with her reactivity, be able to trust her more. 

Ziggy is such a good dog that this seems unnecessary ... but she still melts down.  Do I want to try to keep her safe from all stress?  Not really.  I want her to be out in the world.  I want to be able to trust her and for her to trust me (which she is more - so long as I take the leader role and protect her, she behaves much better). 

I also want her to stop fucking jumping on people and dogs.  It's so exasperating how she just flips out when a person comes to the house.

OK, lots to think about.  It's like me going to the doctor for a sore throat.  It may just be a sore throat, but it may be something more serious, like strep, that can be easily treated with the right pill. Ziggy won't get a pill - I don't think she needs medication, despite what I've been told by other "experts."

What Ziggy needs, honestly, is somebody committed to her training.  And I've been sluffing off because we've been doing well.  Whenever I"m not consistent, she doesn't "learn" the behavior I want.  That's on me.

This is a big financial investment, but since I expect her to live another twelve years or so, it's worth it if it works.  If it doesn't work, I will have wasted a considerable amount of money.

Hm.

walks

Walking Ziggy is a complicated thing.  Sometimes, it's great.  Sometimes, she's a huge pain in the ass - she pulls, lunges at every bird she sees, overreacts to people and other dogs. 

She loves walks, but she also loves helping me with the laundry and playing games. 

I like walking a dog.  But her behavior is better when not walked twice a day.  Usually.  I find. 

This morning she was all puppy energy - mischievous and happy, looking for trouble with a sense of humor.  Lord, I don't have enough energy for all that.  I have a big backyard and we play and that's often better for this reactive pup. 

I'm thinking of fostering a dog.  I just can't make the commitment to being a two-dog person, but Ziggy deserves social interaction and those poor pups deserve breaks from shelters.  We'll see. 

disappointment and fear

Out in a field we walked past tonight, there was a dog.  A wee bit of a thing running loose and free, apparently quite happy.  But, close to the road so I worried and we walked toward it.  As soon as it saw me it popped to attention but then Ziggy saw it and she started dancing with excitement and that little thing ran off in terror. 

Ziggy was disappointed to not make a new friend, but that little puppy was out of its mind with fear.  I wonder why. 

when you love a dog

Today I called a fancy-schmancy butcher shop and asked if they have any dog bones available.  He said they did and asked my name, so after work I went.

He'd said there were beef knee joints, but there were not.  So, he grabbed a beef ribcage and carved out the prime rib for his counter and gave me about 12 pieces of ribs for a ridiculously low price and thanked me for coming in.  I swear he always undercharges me. 

So, the Zigster (what my co-worker calls her) got one of those pieces today (the rest are in the freezer, to be doled out judiciously) and she is so delighted.  She overheated and came in to share her gratitude until she goes back outside to it, and it makes me happy to see her happy. 

so how do we have more positive interactions?

I've been trying to figure out why Ziggy was so well behaved with my friends who visited, and I think maybe there are some factors:

1.  There were two of them.  Sometimes that seems to help.
2.  There were really three of them.  Their dog was quite good and not usually too interested in shenanigans.
3.  She hadn't been out on a walk in days.  Limiting the stressors makes a big difference in her behavior.  
4.  I took the lead on everything - if either dog started to cross a boundary or show disrespect to the other, I intervened.  They wouldn't lay down for a long time because they don't trust each other, so I very carefully monitored their behavior and distract them if there was any indication that one of them was getting stressed.  I kept my nervousness in check, and the friends helped with that. 
5.  He is in frail health.  He has had organ transplants and his balance has gotten very bad of late, so he moves quite slowly and carefully to avoid falling.  I think that despite being a jackass to me a whole lot of the time, and to most adults, that Ziggy could tell that she needed to be more gentle with him.  Like she is with children and people she met at the nursing home.  She slammed into the woman - the dogs were running and Ziggy didn't like how the other dog was grabbing her leg, so she swerved and slammed right into the woman, which disrupted the "game" she didn't like.  The woman is very fit and active and could take it but marveled at how much dog Ziggy is, how solid a projectile.  Yep. 

Again I think: if Ziggy could calm herself down and stop being so overreactive, she could be a very good dog for people with difficulties, physical or emotional.  She has a confidence and understanding with some people (not with me - we tried to walk yesterday and while she didn't jerk, she wasn't good about not pulling).  There's just something about Ziggy that is special.  Someday I could see her being the kind of dog who wants to listen to kids read - now she would just kiss them too much.  Because of my background, I could see her in court with kids who have been abused or neglected, comforting them and helping them feel protected. 

I don't know what all Ziggy can do, and I won't until we get her behavior really under control.  One perfect visit gives me hope but doesn't fool me - I've seen her at her worst and I know she can melt down and go there again. 

But just to watch her, so happy to sit calmly between the two of them - what dog is this?  She could barely be bothered to give me the time of day, which I'm fine with.  Ziggy knows I'm boss and she figures out how everybody else fits into the pecking order, and she was very submissive (for her) with my friends.  She's not the kind of dog to be passive or how most people think of submissive, but for her to not jump and to sit calmly, that's very submissive for her.  She sought them out for affection and expressed gratitude to them.  Of course my friends accused me of never petting her, that the poor dog just needs some love.  Sometimes Ziggy is very snuggly and loving, but a lot of the time she's off doing her own thing.  I asked them if her personality is like the Catahoula they used to have - a very sweet dog I liked quite a lot - and he said oh no, that their Catahoula was much more needy, but that's not all of it.  Camille was afraid of children and other dogs and had some other quirks.  Bless my friends for always adopting from a shelter, and you never know what issues a dog will have from their past.  But no matter what Ziggy went through, she's a very confident dog which is a different kettle of fish.  She is very cat-like in her dismissiveness of me; she usually seems to like me quite a bit and we have some good times, but she would have left me for my friends in a heartbeat.  She doesn't like most people that much, but the ones she does - she is ready to leave me for without a second thought.  She adored The Young Man, and whenever he would leave she would despondently sob, because she so wanted to go with him. 

She's a funny one, this Catahooligan. Brash and bold, good-natured but puts up with no shit. 

I want to build upon this really excellent visit but I'm not sure how best to.  Most of my friends' dogs have issues at least as bad as Ziggy; one has a dog that latches on to other dogs - Ziggy would flip out if he did that to her.  Another has two dogs that cannot be in the same room because they so aggressively attack each other.  Another has two dogs who are a demolition force.  I need more friends with dogs.  That was actually what somebody suggested - that instead of getting a second dog, that I date somebody with a dog.  In theory that could be good. 

After seeing how hard Ziggy slept after this visit, I think that she doesn't need another dog at least right now, and because if my friend's dog who ran away is ever found I would take him, and I sure don't need three dogs.  She just needs a good, active social life. 

OH, and she has taken to ignoring the yappie dog next door.  Sometimes she'll still run with it and greet it, but a lot of the time she's just really over it and turns her back and walks away.  That's a huge calming signal and sign of maturity and I'm very proud of her.  She's learning to step away from stress. 

I think that Black Dog down the street was very helpful.  While they only interacted less than ten times, it was very instructive because he was very explicit in his signals, and the fence allowed him to do that.  Ziggy's a smart cookie and she learned. 

Now, I don't want to get too excited because one good visit does not a new dog create.  But every time Ziggy has a good interaction with a dog, we are rewiring the bad ones.  And she does trust me to intervene - when the other dog would find a toy (which he destroys) and I took it from him, she would watch approvingly.  When he was chasing her in a way she found threatening, she looked to me to intervene and I did.  And that time when that dog chased us from the porch, Ziggy kept her shit together because I was actively intervening, physically preventing the other dog from getting to her, telling the other person what to do, etc.  Maybe her trusting me as her pack leader is a big step in reducing her anxiety about new situations. 

I'll never fully understand the ways of Ziggy Stardust's mind.  But that is ok so long as we are making positive progress.

successful playdate

There are some warning signals here, but overall things went very well.  An hour and a half of hanging out, and all was good.  The only slight kerfuffle was when Ziggy told Roux to get out of the doorway when we were trying to get outside. 

Ziggy completely charmed Roux's people and was on her very best behavior.  The sort of behavior I"ve never seen her do with another person besides me.  Wasn't long before they were mocking me for my overconcern.  They insist that they can watch her when I travel, and I wish I had a short trip coming up to test it, before my long six-day trip in August. 

I'm so glad I've learned so much more about calming signals, to encourage them and to stop behavior that interferes with it.  Roux likes to chase Ziggy and grab her legs which stresses her out so we stop that, but when they run and Ziggy chases him and doesn't catch up, we encourage that.  I've taught her to do that with me - when I first got her, her prey instinct was so strong she was a menace and I was worried about her with kids, but she has learned to run and chase but not make contact with me.  Very proud of her doing that with another dog, too.  She's learned a lot of manners from the black lab down the street and I can read her better now, too.  I had to stop a few things like my friend wanting to take a selfie with her and both dogs (forcing them into too close proximity), but things went very well.

Progress, y'all. Such progress.  So proud of my wild beast. 

dog door

We are still struggling with the dog door.  I'm a bit averse to having her whine at it to go out because that seems asking for problems with accidents, so I usually go to her and encourage her to go through.  I don't open the main door, but I'll say, "Go, Ziggy !  push that door open!"  Who knew I'd be a cheerleader for this dog? She's somewhat more willing to come in by herself, though she will also stand outside and cry until I say, "Come in!" and wave her in.

Yesterday she wanted to go outside because her bone was out there - her new thing is to chew on it, then take a break and come inside, and then when she thinks the time is right she'll go back outside and get it and bring it inside.  She stood at the door and cried and I just ignored her because I knew her game.  She kept it up, laid down whimpering.  poor poor Ziggy can't go outside!  But of course she can!  She just had to go out the goddamn dog door by herself, but she acts like when I have a tasty treat someplace she can't reach - she doesn't countersurf, if I put something up then she knows to keep her paw off and she usually complies.

She's acting about the dog door like she acts when I'm in the kitchen - she hangs back and waits for permission.  Like a vampire.  ANd like with that, if she really wants something she's going to ignore me and go for it.  This morning she wouldn't go out on her own until she heard commotion and the neighbor dog pitching a fit, and then she stormed right out there.

I really do think that she thinks that she's supposed to ask permission to go out the dog door and that she thinks she's being mannerly by doing this.  And I do not know how to convince her that she doesn't have to ask permission, that she is free to go anytime she likes.  Even in the night, which she has never once done.  Maybe she could let me sleep in more if she knew she could just let herself out in the morning.

This is a new puzzle with Ziggy, who is usually brash and rude and doesn't think about being mannerly or asking permission.  I want to figure out how to leverage this to help her learn better manners in other situations.  But at the same time, I don't want to get up whenever she needs to go in or out! 

Hm ... I think that her rules are: ask permission of the person unless there's a crisis.  She heard a crisis outside and ran out on her own.  I think that she considers people coming to the door a crisis that she must handle - she needs to check them out and make sure it's all good, and she won't stop jumping on them.  How do I convince her that I've got this under control? 

This Ziggy is such a challenge.  A friend said something on FB about the next time Ziggy pees somewhere I don't like, and I was baffled.  Ziggy doesn't communicate that way, thank goodness.  Sometimes she vocalizes a lot and I can never figure out what that means but it's hilarious.  Wish I could decipher that.  She expresses herself in other ways, such as aversion to doing certain things. 

Stanley

This story is hilarious.  Stanley is a rescued golden retriever who just cannot be bothered to be like other dogs.  He has his own ways and he is very set in them.  He won't respond when called or be trained or anything, but he's very sweet with everybody including children and cats, and so his peculiar habits (like every day collecting the same three items and putting them in the same place) are just worked around.  His family just says, well that's the way it is and we love him.

I'm just so angry at all the people who abandon their pets and leave the rest of us to pick up the pieces.  Such irresponsibility.  The only pets in shelters should be the ones whose owners have died without somebody who can take them, that sort of thing. 

Ziggy's quirks include her reactivity, and if that's how we have to live then I'll live with it, but I keep having hope that we'll get over it.  Maybe we could foster dogs until placement.  Maybe Ziggy could pass a canine good citizenship test and visit nursing homes and children struggling with reading who need a patient listener. 

I want Ziggy to have a full life and I'm still not sure of her limitations that we cannot overcome.  I want to keep trying.  She is such a love bug and can bring so much joy to people that I hate to not keep trying to help her learn manners and stop freaking out. 

ONe day at a time.