day 14, 15

Day 14 was a Monday.  Her anxiety seemed riled up a bit, like how she gets - so I'm not sure that it is the Prozac, but it certainly doesn't seem to be keeping her anxiety at bay at this point.

She was adamant about a walk and it was a lovely evening, so off we went.  She stayed on alert.  She would take treats but she was pulling on the leash which she hasn't been doing, and waiting for drama.  Also super interested in people walking around and kept eyeing them as she does (so very happy, with a wagging tail) until people woudl stop to pet her.  "She's a jumper," I say while trying to keep a handle on the leash.  I just can't say to people: please don't pet her.  Because she's not aggressive, she just wants to lick faces clean.  She loves so hard, so instantly.

This morning she has been super well-behaved but not subdued.  Right now as I drink coffee she's far across the room, just chewing on a plush toy.  When I got up she stayed on the couch until after I'd made coffee and was ready to give her her medicine (I didn't call her, she arrived at the perfect time).  Every time i move around, she sits, out of the way, and if I approach her to pet her she leans in and enjoys it.  Just waiting and watching.  I said: do you want to help me do laundry? and she pranced around like a baby foal.  She's happy but she's not in my face about it.  This is kind of perfect.  Last night I started my taxes and she was fighting the laptop for sitting on my lap.

day 10, 11, 12, 13

I'm not entirely satisfied with the vet's recommendations, and when I emailed to ask about the response-substitution and how she understands it too well, the response wasn't very helpful. 

These are the challenges with distance care, eh?  He can't see her and understand her little spirit. 

And she is spirited. 

***
NOthing much to report until Day 13 (Sunday).  She is acting very spooked, everything is making her anxious.  The wind blowing the dog door set her off but I think she woke up worried. Now she sticks to me like glue, in the kitchen as I make coffee, she even hides her face in my nightgown.  Now she's snuggled on me and I reach to pet her and she jumps. Her ears back and flat, her tail tucked - she's so very worried about something and I wish I knew what.  She gets like this rarely - maybe every few months.  I think it might be barometric changes or the wind, but sometimes we have that and she's fine.  I have no idea.  I thought the prozac would help with that but sadly no, not at all. 

day 9 - sleepy

Ziggy had a very mellow day on day 9.  She has so many different personality facets, and whoever she wakes up as is who she will be for the day, and this day she was calm, sweet, sleepy. 

Sometimes I worry that we don't have enough interesting things in our lives for her, but I came home from work totally whupped, and I crashed on one couch and she on another, and that's the boring evening we had.  I did short training, I'd like to teach her to stay between my legs when I tell her to, 

day 8: good dog

Ziggy on walk today was good.  Very short time with Black Dog - they said hello, peed, and she was ready to keep walking away (he looked wistfully at us as we walked away - usually she wants to hang out longer). 

A block from home, a car was coming so I told her to stop and I treated her.  As the car approached, the man rolled down the window to shout: "That's a good dog!" 

Lots of people have shouted from moving cars that she's a beautiful dog, a pretty dog, a happy dog.  But I can't think of any stranger who has ever told us that she's a good dog.  Strangers have tried to tell me how to train her and I just hold up my hand and thank them and walk away.  Anyone who wants to tell me to use "dominance" or some stupid wrong pack leader bullshit - no.  Just, no.  I have no doubt that had I leaned hard on Ziggy, with any kind of physical punishment, that she would have turned aggressive.  No doubt at all.  My vast patience with her shenanigans are what took us from awful to awesome.  So now, I want us even more awesome. 

***
I emailed the vet and trainer to ask about the response-substitution.  Basically, when she barks out the window, I'm supposed to call her to me, have her do something else, and then give her a treat.  So, her barking has gotten way worse since I started because Ziggy understands that if she barks, she gets a treat.  She sees the relationship through the other steps.  Smart dog?  Probably.  Just now she barked into the night and then turned to look at me to see if she was going to get a treat and when I decided to just ignore her, she sighed and gave up. 

What a little delight she is, this pup.  The better we learn to communicate with each other, the better life is. 

I had class tonight and a guy brought his dog to class (a quiet bulldog type of thing who just sat in his lap the whole class) and man I missed my dog.  Of course, she would not sit quietly on my lap - she would be rushing around terrorizing the class.  One of her dearest people is in the class - a person who probably saved Ziggy's life (was willing to dogsit when I was trying to give her up, when I first got her). 

day 7:holiday

Took the Catahoula to a national forest to hike today and things were pretty well with minor hiccups:

1. I took a wrong turn and passed a house where a Boston terrier came ripping out after us, lunging and barking very aggressively.  Ziggy came unglued and wanted to fly out the windows to let that dog have it for being a jerk to us. 

2. We walked along a forest road and all was fine until suddenly we heard dogs and Ziggy took off.  There was a house with very large garages right there - a peculiar place (no other residential areas at all in the area). I tried calling her to go back but she wasn't listening; when I approached she was at a chain link fence with her tail up; a mini pinscher or something such was maybe 20 feet away inside the chain link, standing and staring back.  I could not tell what was being communicated and I'm not sure that they were.  Ziggy wasn't whining or barking, just standing - very unusual for her (probably very tired by then), and they were both waiting for the other one to make the first move?  So I got Ziggy on leash and a boy came out and got the other dog, and what was really puzzling to me was that Ziggy was not near threshold at all.  She ate chicken without snapping, her hackles weren't raised, she wasn't lunging at all - I was able to just gently guide her away.  She kept looking back and I kept her on leash for quite awhile, but there was no meltdown at all. 

I think that this shows that Ziggy is a mirror - whatever energy she gets, she reflects back. To me, this indicates that she is still really able to learn - she may not have been socialized properly during the cirtical phase, and she was also likely removed far too early from her mother, but it's not too late.  If I work really hard the next six months with her, maybe we can see the kind of progress I'm hoping for. 

I do wish that I could discourage her from drinking from mud puddles - the drive back was very aromatic. 

day 6: Sunday

Another good walk.  Ziggy woke up a little groggy but spunkier than the past few days, and she was ready to go but not obnoxious.  I treat her like crazy, taking small training treats and small pieces of chicken and some kibble (which she hasn't been eating at all because of all the treats).

Only lunging was at some crows.  Crows often taunt her - there is one who likes to sit on our electrical lines and caw incessantly at her through the window - it might be the same one who sometimes stalks us on our walks.  But she redirected pretty well, and even more impressive was her reaction to squirrels.  She spotted them before I did but she just registered them and I redirected her and then she chose to want to walk on the sidewalk furthest away from them.  I love that this dog has figured out my tricks and uses them on herself.  We saw others and for one she half-heartedly lunged but didn't even bark, and I kept her attention until the squirrel ran up the tree.  We didn't encounter them today but sometimes the squirrels like to taunt her rather than just run and hide.  I know she's fun to taunt because she's explosively belligerent.

Now she watches out the window at the world, alert but not excessively so.  Hopefully she'll nap soon - and if not, hopefully that's a sign that she's feeling better.

She lets me touch the lump on her back but she makes it hard to examine closely (moving away, sitting, etc.).  Sometimes she just doesn't like directed attention so it's hard for me to tell if there is an issue with pain or just that funny thing. 

day 5

I slept in until 7:30 or so but Ziggy didn't come to wake me.  Are those days of her coming in the mornings to snuggle gone?

She woke up very obedient and calm.

She has a big hard lump on her back.  It's probably from the heartworm shots a month ago, but it seems to be getting more prominent.  Will be keeping an eye on it.

I made the mistake of telling her that we would go see her friend Roux hours before I'm ready for us to do that.  Now she's watching me like a hawk.  (For the third heartworm treatment shot, she was really dragging and clearly not feeling well, but as soon as I said: "Do you want to go see your friend Matthew [the vet tech]?" she leaped up and was super excited.  Ziggy LOVES her friends.  She and Roux aren't soul friends, they are more friends by situation - because Roux's parents are wonderful and let Ziggy stay with them when I travel.  But Ziggy and Roux do get along pretty well - Ziggy is too worked up for him but when they settle down they often nap near each other and seem to have a good relationship.

***
We went to visit our friends and it was lovely.  Ziggy and Roux are soul buddies now - they are very comfortable with each other.  Ziggy isn't feeling herself and Roux was willing to let her set the tone (though he was SO EXCITED to see us and kept running and leaping about with such glee).  Shortly after we got there, they were lying near each other in the grass, just comfortable with each other.  And Ziggy really loves Roux's people - they are calm and kind and she appreciates them greatly even if she is sassy sometimes. Roux is not very affectionate with them so they kind of like Ziggy hugs and kisses. 

Ziggy did do some barking at him which is annoying; I was able to redirect sometimes with treats.  She seemed to be over threshold at one point and I said that's it, we're going, and she settled down.  We left not long after that, but because I have other things to do.  She passed out on the drive back.  She is really not herself - she was still doing heartworm cough and her stamina is very low.  She would sprint but then need to rest.  And now she's sleeping on the couch, just really worn out by the day.  Poor baby. 

day 4

This morning Ziggy is very lethargic - didn't get up when I got up, not interested in eating.  Fluoxetine effects?

***
When we went outside for a walk, Ziggy waited at the top of the stairs for my permission to proceed once I had.  This is HUGE because she always speeds down and I try to get her to slow so as not to pull me (sometimes it's slippery and I so do not want to fall). 

I don't know if it's possible that the fluoxetine is actually working with just one pill, but maybe it's all the training I've been doing and she knows I'm always "packing" (carrying treats)?  Who knows.  I'll take it.  She has always seemed to want to be good about it but she gets so overwhelmed and has to rush out to assess any danger - her rushing like that has always seemed like a physiological overreaction rather than naughtiness (because she can easily control herself at other times).  The vet said the drug would delay her reaction time, and that's what this looks like - she still wants to get out in the world quickly, but she can wait for me to give her instructions. 

**
Not a good walk tonight.  She was on edge as we went a different way, though she handled barking at her like a champ, and tried to chase a cat but focused right back.  But then we passed a dog who was aggressively barking and she lit up, and then we passed a dog who was fighting to get out of its yard to get at us which totally flipped her out.  She was so upset that when I tried to get her to take chicken to distract her, she snapped my hand.  No injury or bad intent, just a classic example of waaaay over threshold. 

Sigh. 

day 3: beginning prozac with the dog

This morning Ziggy was very subdued, very calm and seemingly worried.  I felt bad because I had promised her a walk to see her friend Black Dog, but I overslept again.  

Today I picked up fluoxetine for the pup.  Apparently this is not unusual, and it really is possible to negotiate down drug prices at pharmacies (that is nuts to me but it's true - we went from $29 to $11 for 100 fluoxetine capsules - tablets would be much more, like $1/pill I've been told). 

When I got home, Ziggy was on a craze - in part because she heard me unload my truck with about six loads up to the porch before I opened the door.  Then I let her out on leash to hook to the porch rail while I brought everything inside, and she was a champ.  She whined once at something but then shook it off.

Inside I opened the blinds and discovered that she has already figured out my response substitution game - she will bark riotously, then when I get up and call her to come to distract her, she's all about that and she runs to the kitchen for chicken or to her mat for a treat.  How do I know that I'm not teaching her to bark obnoxiously because she knows she'll get treats for what comes next?  I know that they say that dogs are responding to the last input, but Ziggy is smart enough to chain things together.

But the good news on that is that I am able to distract her away and only once did I gently pull on the leash that I'd kept on her to guide her away.  Soon she was lying on the floor with her back to the window, happily chewing on a new toy I'd got her. 

Then we went for a walk and she only melted down twice, at the same house each time.  Apparently people have moved in with a dog that we've not ever seen before and it freaked Ziggy out to see that dog out and about.  She cried and prance/lunged and all that, and I tried to distract her with treats and chicken and cheese, which is hard to do when she's tantruming and I'm trying to hold onto her and perhaps keep moving.  She was over threshold but she calmed down pretty quickly. 

When we passed a house with a dog outside in the yard and it barked at us, she hardly paid it any mind.  Same with people on porches talking.  Very easily distracted with treats and we'd just keep on. 

Lagniappe: I can distract her from garbage.  I never thought the day would come for that! 

started with behavioral vet

There's no behavioral vet where I live and I've tried for almost a year to drive to see the nearest one (nearly six hours away), so I finally found one that does consults by phone and we did that yesterday (day 1).

He has several parts to the plan that I'll get into more depth on, but I think I'll startby using this as a diary of sorts for our progress.

Day 1 - phone consult with vet for about 90 minutes (this is our second call) - he says she likely has anxiety which leads her to overreact and suggests behavior modification with medication (fluoxetene, generic Prozac).  He also said that the regular vet says she's no longer on exercise restriction (she has been recovering from heartworm treatment).

So, I came home and I walked my dog for the first time in almost two months and it was glorious.  We went to a quiet university campus after dark (no squirrels) and she was alert to people but it's funny how varied that is.  To a police officer, she wagged her tail and cheerfully pranced toward him.  To people inside a building she stopped to stare as if to say: hey, notice me!  To people walking past us who looked at her and said she's cute, she tried to jump on them.

Things were fine until we went behind a building and she was straining to see something - it looked like kids with a flashlight.  She kept straining and then a dog there was straining to get to her and she had a little meltdown.  But just a little one.  She kept walking and took a treat once we were around the corner.

The vet says 5-10 minute walks, more for mental stimulation than physical, but I like walking my dog and we'll go further.

Day 2
No morning walk because I overslept and Ziggy no longer wakes me up in the mornings.  She was staring at me a lot, sitting nearby and staring, like unsure what to do.  The vet says not to comfort anxiety but if she seems unsure, I like to invite her to be pet.

Usually I give her chicken and kibble in the morning when I leave and she happily gobbles it up, but today she tried to leave with me.  Poor baby, you don't want to go to my boring office without comfy couches.

Got home late and she was still on point with being very mindful and attentive.  I ate something and she looked at her empty bowl - the vet said she needs to get on a regular feeding schedule.  I always like how when i'm eating, she likes to eat at the same time instead of beg from me.  But we'll give this a go.  She was just disoriented because there was no food in her bowl.

We did a little training with sit, roll over, wait, "find it" (starting with dropping a kibble, making her wait, and then telling her to "find it" when I'm pointing at it - we'll expand from there).  Very on point.

I changed my clothes for going for a walk and she got super worked up - she will take running leaps at the front door to bounce off it.  Literally.  So I had her sit on her mat while I put on my shoes and her harness - she would get off the mat and I'd just put her back on it with a command and tell her she's good.

And off we went - we are trying to get better about the stairs with her not pulling me at all because they can be slippery, and she was better, but once we got on the ground she was kinda crazy with pulling a lot so I shifted the leash from the back of the freedom harness to the front, which helped.  She pooped within two blocks, and that usually takes the edge off the pulling.

We traced our old steps, where we used to walk, and her favorite dog friend's mom was coming out to check the mail.  They haven't moved away yet, which is great news for us. He wasn't outside but maybe tomorrow morning.  Ziggy was over the moon to approach his yard, so very happy to see her friend but kept walking when he wasn't there.

She was watchful of people and situations throughout the walk but if she lingered too long I'd get her attention, treat her, and we'd walk along.  At one point we passed a yard that we both always forget has a small dog in a kennel on a backporch - the dog barked and it started Ziggy so she prance lunged toward it and barked.  I said, "Hey, it's all good," and kept walking and she barked again but then was fine to keep walking and seemed unstressed.  She did do a long stop and stare at the yard where there are usually three large dogs with big barks, as well as a house where she once saw two labs on a top floor.  Just looking carefully, being on guard.

And now we're home and she just seems kind of out of sorts.  Too mellow, too cautious.  She lays on the couch without moving, not sleeping, eyes open, but just looking off into space.  When she was eating, it sounded like she was vomiting or trying to vomit - which could be heartworm pieces still, or who knows what.

She just doesn't seem herself.  Her spark is muted.  Maybe she's just coming down from the rush of jumping people on Monday eve.  Or otherwise under the weather.  And we haven't even started the Prozac.

I love Ziggy's spark, her verve, her enthusiasm.

We just something the behavioral vet suggested - I put her up in a room then walked to the front door, opened it, rang the doorbell, pretended to have a conversation etc., then let Z. out on leash to walk around the pretend person.  It AMPED HER UP.  When I gave her treats she was snatching them from me roughly, a sign of her being stressed out.

But hey, it woke her up.

On top of the two walks (5-10 minutes each, though we will usually go considerably further - it's not even worth putting on my shoes for ten minutes), about ten minutes of training per day.  A big one is distracting from triggers - "response substitution."  We did that a bit yesterday - when she would bark out the window, I'd call her, treat her for coming, and repeat.  The behavioral vet says that when a dog is anxious, comforting doesn't help improve the response but food does.

The thing about the behavioral vet is: I know these things.  I've read a dozen books, dozens of websites, watched lots of videos with experts.  I know these things, but I haven't been really consistent enough once we reach a plateau.  So, Ziggy doesn't usually react to people anymore, though she used to, because we worked on it.  Because we worked on it, dogs at a distance who aren't paying her mind are able to be ignored.  Because we worked on it A LOT, Ziggy never jumps on me (unless we're goofing around and dancing without me communicating a better move for her).  She doesn't mouth so much, all that is SO MUCH BETTER.  And we get to a place where things are god and I sluff off.  So hopefully working with a vet with whom I have contracted for three months of support will keep me in line.  I know that I'd really rather not have Ziggy on Prozac for the rest of her life, so let's give this a running shot by focusing diligently on the behavioral modification at the same time.

I want to be able to have people over without Ziggy mauling them.  I want to have her make dog friends without me worrying about their introductions.  I want to take her out to national forest land off-leash and if we run into a group of other people and dogs to have it not be a big deal.  I want to travel with her and stop to visit friends and have her be well-behaved with new people and dogs in other houses and situations.  I want to do agility or some other such dog sport with her.

When the regular vet called today to talk about the fluoxetine and Ziggy's treatment plan, he kept talking about Ziggy not getting a police record.  But I don't think Ziggy is aggressive - she could be if I don't work on it, but she's not a mean dog who wants to attack.  Now, her barks at dogs walking past may indicate otherwise because most dogs don't want to walk anywhere near our house - I've seen dogs freeze, puzzled and nervous, then pull to get away.  Ziggy is a modern-day Boo Radley.

But as both vets have said - Ziggy is doing her job.  Her job is protect herself, the home, and me.  And she does it well (though that whole letting strangers in the house at 2 am and sit upon command and be calm and not tell me this is happening?  STILL MAKES NO SENSE).

Ziggy is unpredictable but I am on duty all the time.  I'm always scanning the environment, always monitoring her behavior and reactions.  and maybe that's not enjoyable but it is what it is.  I'm a major helicopter parent.  I hover.  I intervene.  And I will be eternally grateful to her friend Roux's parents for telling me I'm too much and that they can handle Ziggy.  And they do.  They are wonderful friends for watching her - and all the effort they had to make to convince me that they could handle her.  She loves them.

She is unpredictable but I just don't think that she's aggressive.  I think that if she is bitten that she will bite back, I know that she has lousy manners ... but these things make her my little soulmate.  She lunges at people to jump on them and to lick their faces with wildly joyful abandon - that's not aggression, that's belligerence.  And I want her to stop because it's not safe for her to act like that. 

The behavioral vet keeps saying that as dogs get older that they are less interested in meeting a lot of new dogs, but I don't think Ziggy is to that stage.  He also said that hunting/herding dogs like her - when faced with a threat they run toward it.  I do think that's correct.  She does not shirk, she does not shy away - she faces any danger with tail held high.

Hey, she's my pup.  We're both of us not very bright about things like that.  We are chargers.  And in a dangerous situation, frankly there are few beings that I would shout "cover me!" and expect to be fully covered like I can with Ziggy.  She is so hypervigilant and constantly scanning for danger, ready to leap into any fray. 

She's asleep and I'm thinking that I may have given her some bad chicken because I'm a horrible person.  Yikes. 

I order some window film to block her view through the windows.  Sigh. I want her to be sane. 

almost a year

I am sitting on the couch.  Ziggy just came over, put her chin on the couch, I patted it and she jumped up and flipped her body around to lie against my thigh.  I pet her as I continue to work on the computer.

Sometimes I forget how far we've come, but then I remember how when I first got her she would rather maul me.  I couldn't sit and work on my computer on the couch without regular jumping and mouthing and scratching. 

We have adjusted to each other.  She now craves positive strokes and has learned how to get that. 

In two weeks, it will be her "Gotcha Day."  October 16 I took in this wild beast and she turned my life upside down. 

For all the challenges though, she has become my best little sidekick.  She is sweet and funny and finds delight in life where I forget to notice it. 

She's now sitting at my feet chewing on a dog toy, completely ignoring the flip flops right beside her.  She used to steal them and chew them, but now she looks in disgust at such actions.  She really is such a good dog.  She would never toilet inside the house or show aggression to a child.  She's just ... intense.

But I've never known a dog who shares joy around quite like her.  From her visits to the fellows at the nursing home where I used to live to sullen teenagers, Ziggy knows how to look them right in the eye and be happy to see them.  And they're happy to see her, too. 

In the hands of somebody better qualified than me, perhaps Ziggy would have moved past her reactivity and obnoxious inability to calm down when overstimulated.  She wouldn't pull on the leash during walks or jump on visitors.  I own it: I haven't been the best trainer.  OH, I have taught her all the basic commands, but there's no way to get her to immediately come when called if there's something more interesting the other direction. 

But I love her and she loves me, and because of our relationship she has come miles.  She is happy and safe, and she greatly enhances the quality of my life.  There's nobody I'd rather spend time with every day than her. 

And honestly I think that loving her is more important than being a grade A trainer.  I saw how she responded to expert trainers (before being expelled) - she refuses to learn from people she doesn't love. 

Recently I heard a talk on PTSD and how the constant flooding of the brain with cortisol rewires it.  They were talking about people, but it rings so true with Ziggy.  Whatever happened in her first year of life made her synapses fire in a way most people would consider deficient.  It makes handling her difficult because she just doesn't process information in a way that makes sense to me.  So I remember a student I had once who had been horrifically abused and how she would overreact to things, and how she taught me to be successful with her. 

Patience and love matters a lot. 

Dog brains and people brains are different yet a lot of the same processes are at work.

And maybe Ziggy's brain will never be "normal," but she has made tremendous strides.  Some days are better than others, and when she's overmaxed then I know to close the blinds and reduce her stimulus inputs.  She can't help that her brain misfires.  She doesn't want to be insane.

We have an appointment with the dog psychologist (veterinary behavioral specialist) in December, and I look forward to hearing from an expert.  I may put her on meds to help her get through the tough times.  I've always been resistant to meds because the people recommending that have her all mislabelled.  She's not hyper, she's energetic with an inability to handle too much stimulus. When it's just her and me, she doesn't do any of the things people consider hyper.  One friend was laughing at her ADHD, but her paying attention to every new thing rather than sticking with one focus makes her a good watch dog. 

Ziggy is just a special dog in a lot of ways. 

pup stomach

Ziggy has stomach upset, which she helped me understand by pooping diarrhea very near me.  Out in the yard, totally appropriate, just funny for how well she communicates with me.  Well, that and I can hear her stomach grumbling from a room away.  Poor baby.

We tried papaya but not enough so she got Kaopectate.  I mixed it up with some white rice and chicken, and she obediently lapped it up. 

I so appreciate her willingness to take medicine and not give me attitude.  I also so appreciate her willingness to never soil the house.  That may of course change when she's 15 and unable to navigate stairs, but for now she is so very well house-trained. 

That was the last of the kaopectate, so I'll plan to go get some pepto-bismol for her.  Poor baby just keeps trying to lie down but has to keep moving, her innards betraying her. 

She was wound up so very tight last night, with behaviors I haven't seen for many months.  INability to calm.  Pacing, panting, barking at slightest provocation, just so very on edge. 

mat

With travel and visitors and such, Ziggy training has fallen by the wayside.  But today we picked it up again, to make more concrete the command "mat." 

I'm still trying to come up with a hand signal for "mat" beyond pointing to it. 

For whatever reason, Ziggy was really challenged about pointing when I first got her - she did not understand it at all.  We've overcome that (unless: shenanigans where she pretends to not understand even when she does).*  But she will reliably go to "mat" as soon as she understands it, as good things happen there.  Sometimes she just lies on it for comfort, though she has two beds and two couches and lots of other spaces to lie on. 

She will hold mat well, even now letting me go out of sight before i call her, trusting that I will.  She immediately bounds to me, happy and proud of herself. 

And I'm trying to follow Karen Pryor's training on a dog overreacting with people at door, but here's my problem.  Ziggy will hold "mat" for a pretty long time, and I can walk to the door and jiggle the knob, and if she knows nobody is there she will hold it and watch me.  She's reliable about this.

But if we add in somebody actually here, all bets are off.  All training is immediately completely evaporated from her brain.

This makes it hard to train because it's not the training.  Ziggy learns very easily and happily.  It's that her brain short circuits with any kind of stress and she becomes a melted puddle of freak-out.  OHMYGOD THERE'S SOMEBODY HERE HE MIGHT BE AN AX MURDERER OR READY TO HAND ME FRESH STEAK OR BOTH.

To call her reactive is such an understatement.  It's better explained as: she becomes a complete wild beast and unable to respond to anything civilized until the stressor passes.

Sigh.  





*My BFF noted several examples of how Ziggy is clearly very bright.  For example, she is fed kibble in a treat ball that she pushes around to make the kibble roll out.  Whenever nearing a high couch or any other spot where it could get stuck, she carefully navigates it away.  I hadn't even noticed that.

good instincts

Yesterday Ziggy got out when my friend was WD-40ing the door hinges, and she ran down the stairs and of course chased birds in the neutral ground.

Then she ran to a house and wanted to go in the backyard.  Because ... ?  So she went under the house to get around and into the backyard, where she was pretty well contained but wouldn't come and I wasn't crawling under or breaking into the backyard. 

A mother and young daughter came out to see what was going on and they were so lovely.  They had noticed me and Ziggy before but I had never noticed them.  I think they moved in recently, perhaps after a marriage split.  We chatted a bit as I held a hyper dog at the end of a leash - she asked about the push mower I use, the little girl was very interested in Ziggy.  "She wants a dog so much, but I don't know about that.  We'll start a cat."

Anyway, I really like them.  You know how some people you just like their energy right off the bat?  That's them.  And, it seemed like the mom was looking for a friend, which is great.  Plus, now if Ziggy gets loose they know who to let know. 

Thank you, Ziggy, for the introductions.  Naughty dog.

true nature

Ziggy is a beast when it's me + company.  Take either out of the equation and she's chill.  But bring other people when I'm around and she is like a Tasmanian devil.

But the good news is, she's more attentive to me.  If I call her, she comes.  If I tell her "leave it," so far she's actually backed off. 

in a past life

Today Ziggy's past life regression was done, and here are some highlights:

Ziggy and me coming together wasn't what I was looking for or what we were looking for; it was all about Ziggy wanting and needing to find me.

Before, I was an old man and she was my hunting dog, and we were super closely bonded.  I was solitary and she was my sole companion.  Then we went out hunting and she got lost in the water and I couldn't find her and I had to return home but I came back for weeks looking for her.  She was found by poorer people who kept her chained and we never reunited.

Another life, I was a young girl and she was my puppy; she died at about a year old of a disease we now vaccinate against.  Because of this, Ziggy is stuck at puppy stage and views the world that way.  We were in a wealthy family and as they often are quite lonely, and the girl and puppy very closely bonded.

So that's all interesting.  She also said she sees Ziggy living to be 16 or 20 years old and .. wait, what?  20 years for a big dog? 

She says that healing our untimely separations will heal Ziggy.  That would be lovely. 

love at first sight

Ziggy and I did not have love at first sight - in fact, the opposite.  She was not impressed with me and I tried to give her up because she was so overwhelming. 

We love each other now, but that took months.  I now feel her as like an extension of me, or I of her - we move in rhythm that works for us.  I mean, I'll be glad when she's no longer a puppy and wants to nap more than play, but I love her enthusiasm and cheer. 

But meeting my best friend for the first time - oh good lord, it's like the dog and her had been BFFs since eternity.  Instant bond.  And Ziggy adores her sister - who when taking a nap, Ziggy climbed up and laid beside her, putting her head on the sister's shoulder, and the sister held her paw.  Ziggy doesn't let me anywhere near her paws since I TWICE cut her to the quick and hurt her. 

The nieces are more meh.  They're young adults and Ziggy thinks they act too cool. 

Also, I did not fall in love at first sight with the animals at the shelter. 

I just love my dog.  I wish all the other dogs well, but they stink. 

friends

A friend came over today and Ziggy was an obnoxious maniac.  "I don't mind her jumping, but her claws are so sharp."  Oh, actually they're really dull compared to usual.  Sigh.  We really need to work on this.  Even when I gave her a bully stick, she ate it while staring at my friend, and when my friend made some gesture Ziggy came right to her and ate it at her feet and the instant she finished she jumped up again. 

She was also shedding like crazy, which is what she does when she's stressed out.  I think that her nature is to be very protective - that's her breed, that's who she is.  But she is mannerly enough to not be aggressive, but she's still just a big mess about it all.  It so stresses her out to have people over but she also likes it, and it's all just turmoil.

And I have four people coming to stay for a week.  Actually I think that will be easier for her.

She immediately went to sleep when my friend left, completely exhausted from the whole encounter.  The friend was here for hours and we did all sorts of things like me having Ziggy hold on mat and I treat her every so often, me doing work in kitchen and Ziggy waiting watchfully.  But Ziggy is just a jackass because she'll sit pretty and my friend will lean down to pet her and Ziggy will jump up to plant a big kiss on her lips.  Which NOBODY LIKES.  Because she is also headbutting.

Sigh.

My friend she'd report to her mom that "Ziggy is as advertised."  Which cracks me up.  She also said it'll be quite a while before she'll bring her daughter over, who is spooked by dogs.  And while Ziggy is so much better behaved with kids than adults, I agree with that decision.

Then I needed to do errands and I gave Ziggy a treat and she happily took it but as soon as I reached for the door she threw it and ran for me.  Good grief.  She's so melodramatic, because when I came back she had eaten it.  Unlike when she's truly upset.

I think that not crating her makes her more excitable - she hears and interacts with sounds outside more.  Plus I made the stupidest mistake by saying early this morning: "Ziggy, your friends are coming today!"  Of all the things for her to understand, that's what she does, and all day she waited for her friends, getting excited about everything.

homecoming

I returned home to a dog who was VERY happy to see me.  As soon as she heard me at the friend's house she pushed the curtain to see me and then was ready to come through that door to get to me.  Fortunately it was opened before she wrenched it open. 

She's been very sweet and loving, but now her jackass is coming out again.  She's decided stealing my flip flops is the thing to do.  I disagree.  We have come to words over this. 

She likes the attention.  Tonight I was able to grab her with it and shook her scruff a bit and shouted "No!" while shaking the flip flop at her.  She looked at me completely understanding and completely without any fear.  Then just a few minutes later she grabbed it and ran and I chased her and she froze at the dog door and came to me and dropped it and then sat with me.  She knows I won't punish her if she gives up the prize.

How much longer will she go through these fits and starts of jackass?  Because if you had asked me a week ago if she still stole shoes, I would have 85% certainly told you no.  And she sniffed my friend's shoes but didn't show any interest in stealing them. 

No, just mine. 

Asshole.

she knows

Oh this jackass dog knows I'm leaving her and she's pulling out all the stops.

She just ate half a lime to spite me.

She pulled the insoles out of my garden shoes.

Yesterday she ripped my shorts when grabbing the frisbee.  I'd like to think it was an accident, but she didn't mark my skin in the slightest, so I'm skeptical.

This morning's walk was awful - a dog walked up on us when I wasn't paying attention, and Ziggy lost her marbles for the whole rest of the walk.  Constantly overvigilant. 

This poor puppy. She does not handle stress or change all that well. 

But, there are few people I trust to take care of her like these people so it will be fine.  They underestimate her volatility, but on the flip side it means that they expect more of her than I do and she seems to rise to their expectations pretty well. 

Ugh, getting up by 4 am tomorrow, on the road.