nipping

So my friend came over who is going to watch Ziggy and ... it wasn't the most successful.  I got home late, she got here early, and this is a bad Monday for Ziggy so she was out of control. She even nipped my friend and ... I have to take some responsibility but I was pretty annoyed with the person.  She was supposed to be here two days ago and she wasn't, and I dont' care the reasons, you're going to get a different dog when she's upset about being locked up all day after having several days with me. 

The thing is, I don't care how annoyed I am, I don't want Ziggy reading that as license to nip.  And of course the friend didn't listen well enough to me about turning away, not pushing her down, etc.

Y'all, seriously.  IF SOMEBODY SAYS THAT'S HOW YOUR DOGS HAVE TO BE TREATED, THEN TRUST THEM.

I think they'll be fine - Ziggy is a survivor and my friend does love animals.  I said not to be stingy with treats (most people are) and to lock herself in the bedroom if Ziggy is out of control, to be calm and patient and she does calm down and just wants to snuggle and be pet. 

But it would be so much easier if Ziggy were just a more normal dog.  If I could leave her at the kennel and let her have doggy daycare time.  If she could stay with friends with dogs, or sitters.  Instead, I struggle every single time I have to travel wtih what the hell to do. 

I reached out to a veterinary behaviorist in TX.  There's nobody anywhere near and I'm at my wit's end.  I would drive there for an appointment, six hours away. 

Ziggy is easily trained, but dealing with her reactivity is beyond me. 

another dog?

I'm thinking again about getting another dog and I even put some feelers out with rescue societies.  The little ones that work hard and know their fosters well.  Because the right fit is super important. 

I think about another dog because I worry about Ziggy's lack of social skills.  She wants to do better, and she's learned to do better with me and slowly with my friends, but she doesn't have dogs to teach her.  If she had a patient, calm, fun-loving dog around, life could be very good.  Crazy and hairy, but good.

But ... two dogs? Sheesh, that just sounds like way too much for me.  I've always been a one-dog kind of woman because I like the bond between one dog and one person.  But maybe I'm too small-minded.  So, I'm open to the possibilities. 

If I don't get another dog, I will think again about getting a roommate.  I just think about how busy this semester will be and I worry about the Zigster.

what does your dog eat?

"That's a lot of chicken wings," said the Costco cashier as she scanned the ten pound bag.

"Yeah, it's for my dog ..." and I quickly realized that's not what I wanted to say.

Feeding her raw food like chicken wings and marrow bones is actually cheaper than kibble, which has preservatives and the like.  I'm not planning on feeding her ten pounds of raw chicken in a day - this is more like over two months.  They're individually frozen to accommodate me when I want to pull out a few to thaw. 

Ziggy has always been pretty good about not overeating, but before I started supplementing with a lot of raw, whole foods she was not unlikely to eat because she was bored.  Now, she really only eats when she's actually hungry. 

So, I'm not really embarrassed about spending $19 on raw chicken to feed to my dog.  I just don't need to tell people about it.

Her kibble is Taste of the Wild and I vary the type.  Most of it goes into her treat ball and the rest in her bowl, which she only eats when she's really hungry.  She gets on average about two marrow bones a week, which I've had cut down to few inches.  She gets a bit of cooked chicken each time I leave her in the kennel and a drumstick or wing whenever I think about it, every couple of days.  I give her bits of fruits and vegetables such as bananas and raw zucchini, and she loves some yogurt so she gets the dregs of a container (only plain, with no sugar or flavors added).  She seems healthy, but I should probably get her some supplements in case we really go to mostly raw foods.  I'm not going to obsess about keeping it totally well-balanced, I have too many other things on my mind.

We tried some other kibble but she didn't like the first one very much (ZEssentials).  Then I wanted to just get the Whole Foods brand which seemed fine at first but then there was a bad batch that made her pretty sick.  Whole Foods insisted that it wouldn't harm her, it was just a manufacturing glitch, but I promptly returned it for a refund and swore it off, which is sad because that was really the most convenient for me.

humping

When I first got Ziggy, I got a fleece on one side dog bed for her.  She only ever used that for two things: using as a ginormous plushy toy to drag and throw around and chew on, and to hump.*

It was very peculiar to me as I'm not accustomed to spayed females who hump things, though I wasn't at all surprised that her BFF (before he moved up north) was a humper because he was almost two years old and still not neutered.

It usually proceeded like this: she would start playing and it would escalate and her brain would seem to misfire out of control and she would grab it and hump it with this look of desperation on her face and it would calm her down.  Fortunately this was not something that I failed with, like I did with so many other things with her.  I would let her ride it out and not make a big deal of it.  I was honestly pretty relieved that she was able to calm down and not attack me, which she was doing pretty regularly.  Not attack like seriously, but a fun attack which usually was absolutely no fun for me - lots of jumping on me, mouthing, scratching - all puppy fun but awful for me.

That lasted maybe a month, maybe two, and she hasn't done it once since.  I just think of how confusing that time must have been for her - she was spayed a week before I got her so her hormones must have been out of control.  Did she ever have puppies?  When I had Selma and got her spayed, she had horrible hallucinations from the anesthesia and it really fucked up her head for a few days.  Fortunately she was very young, very resilient, and very loved, so she got over it.  But Ziggy?  IN such a stressful environment, while at the shelter?  How awful. 

I will never know Ziggy's past, but I do know that there were a lot of fuckups in her transition to life with me. Most of them committed by me.  I was so naive, thinking she was well-adjusted. 

If I had it to do over again, I would know now to watch her stress levels.  She was giving me all kinds of signals that she was stressed off the charts but I didn't understand.  I wouldn't take her to an obedience class for damn sure - that was the most stressful of all.  I wouldn't have people come meet her in the first couple of days, I wouldn't take her out so much.  No dog parks, no Petco (that was a disaster), no driving around with my classmate on school assignment with her constantly attacking us.  Jesus she just had no matters at all - what a mess.  And so while she still can sometimes lose it and think it's ok to paw at me and jump on me and try to wrestle with me, that's far less often and sometimes because she's trying to tell me something very ardently (usually: go to bed, and she's usually right).  Now she stays in the backseat of the pickup and sniffs at a passenger and kisses them if they like it. 

She's made tremendous progress, sometimes I forget how much because there's still so much more to do. 

And yesterday I said she was very responsive but I have to edit: only at home.  Outside in the world, she's still a wild beast.  A dog was barking aggressively behind a fence and Ziggy went insane; somebody was backing out of their driveway and afraid of going anywhere because of her lunging - as if she would drag me into the street where they could hit me.  Oh lord no, people.  I am a seasoned pro with being dragged by this Catahoula.  My two-handed leash anchoring system works very effectively. It would of course be better if she were not flipping out on me, but we're working on it.  IF that dog were better behaved and ignoring Ziggy who was clearly not approaching the house, then Ziggy wouldnt have lost her cool.  Other dogs can be fire propellant or fire retardant with her, and obviously I cannot control other dogs at all. 

We'll figure it out. 







*Now it is only used to store toys on when I'm vacuuming.  NOt a very useful item for us.

Bedtime

"It isn't my fault you are tired in the mornings. I tell you clearly when it's bedtime and you ignore me."  -Ziggy Stardust, trying every strategy she can to get me to go to bed and then finally giving up in fatigue and disgust with my mental slowness

Options

"I want you to invite me inside. Or to come outside and play frisbee. Those are your two choices."

put me in, coach

Days like today are kinda awesome, kinda challenging.

Ziggy is in an extremely receptive frame of mind and wants nothing more than to be a little helper.  She's so proud of herself for everything we accomplish together, how she escorts me to get the laundry off the line and then does a superdog catch of the frisbee. 

She's not eager to please me, she's eager to be part of a team.  She wants to be valued and appreciated. 

Today is not a day to scold her, no matter how much she gets on my nerves for being constantly underfoot.  She is sensitive right now.  And so I thank her for her contributions and scratch behind her ears. 

Focus

This is the face of a very focused dog, watching me intently as I mend favorite toys she has loved to death.

She has never seen me do this before so she made a rookie mistake and took away her most recent (I'm pretty sure this morning when she woke me up crying it was because she could see the toy set up high but knew better than to get it without permission ). She took it from my hand because of how I was holding it. I told her no and to drop it and she did, and with the future ones she watched my face in addition to my hands to make sure it was really for her when offered.

She is so delighted to be reunited with her best friends and keeps bringing them to show me. She is adorable.

dogs on porches

Just now I was walking home with Ziggy and we were on the sidewalk.  We heard laughter at the next house that we were approaching and Ziggy's ears pricked.  Then a chihuahua-dachshund-something stuck its head off the porch. 

Before Ziggy could even react, I was doing a very quick pivot turn with her, back around a car and onto the street.  Their fucking dog ran off the porch and barking aggressively ran after us.  A woman was screaming the dog's name as it completely ignored her, and the only person coming for the dog was moving slowly. 

I had Ziggy in good position, across the street and moving away, with me between her and the dog, but the dog would not stop following us and trying to get around me to Ziggy.  I cornered Ziggy against a car and shouted, "Get your dog!" and they finally did and we took off.

Good things: this hardly even fazed Ziggy and she was recovered before the end of that block, not even trying to look back after a couple of houses.  She felt safe by how I handled it, and I felt in control of the situation to the extent possible - though walking away I had a huge adrenaline surge I can still feel.  I do not have enough hands to grab my dog and yours and keep them apart.   

Fucking people.  Don't have your goddamn dog sitting loose on a porch if it is going to come after my dog.  Because my dog cannot tell the difference between a real threat and a perceived one, and your fucking little dog coming at her - if your dog bit her, as stupid little dogs are prone to do because people don't train them right, then Ziggy may mess it up.  And you would be completely in the wrong for that, not Ziggy, but she and I would pay consequences.  I would of course refuse to pay any vet bills in this situation, but we wouldn't be able to walk down that street anymore, and I may have to answer to SPCA.  Again.

I'm trying to do all the right things here, and other people and their dogs are too often our problem.  Because Ziggy has actually walked past dogs without reaction when they aren't paying attention to her.  We have made huge strides in her reactivity, but that situation may have set us back a lot and that fucking pisses me off.  I get to walk my dog on public streets and sidewalks without incident, and I won't stop doing that. 

There's also just a block away  Rottweiler on a chain in the front yard left there regularly unattended.  A thin, tiny chain, and an upset dog with a lot of chomping power.  What the fuck, people?  Yeah, I let my dog in the front yard ON A TETHER AND SUPERVISED. 

The dogs we had growing up never saw a leash - they were all free rein.  That's how we do.  And usually that was fine, except once when my father and his friends were doing something up the hill from our house (still our land) and the neighbor's aggressive German Shepherd came rushing to kill our cocker spaniel mix and our other neighbor knocked it unconscious with a 2x4.  That neighbor never even liked our dog - they were firmly cat people - but he saved its life. 

My point is just: I understand leaving dogs loose, but that is NOT acceptable in a dense urban area of New Orleans.  If your dog is not under complete control, it needs to be tied up or left inside.  We walked past another house in another area and a guy was working in his front yard with his very large dog sitting in the yard watching the world.  It watched Ziggy carefully but without any reaction and Ziggy and I were able to continue along our way until the dog got up and started to follow us.  The man held his hand up for us to stop and let the dogs meet - and while I'm sure that dog was a very good dog and probably would give all kinds of calming messages to Ziggy, the thing is: Ziggy is reactive and unpredictable and I was not taking her out to meet other dogs.  On a leash, Ziggy is much more likely to freak out.  And I would love for her to not be reactive, but that's not our reality right now.  Other people's attitudes about their dogs shouldn't affect my dog.  And in that case, I shouted, "she's reactive!" and I kept us going as she started barking and trying to run toward that dog.  He called the dog back and all was fine, but I had a worked up 55# Catahoula at the end of a leash. 

And now she's home happily gnawing on a bone, working our her misunderstood aggression.  She was good except wanting to chase squirrels, and then when a guy got out of a car and said, "What a pretty dog," she thought for sure he wanted to dance with her and so she started doing a super happy dance toward him.  This is hard because the way I act when she goes toward people is to choke up on the leash and hold her under control.  Because I dont know what people want.  Ziggy will jump and lick and be so very happy to greet people - which is unmannerly and many people do not like.  But other people do like - she's a very happy dog who spreads joy, but people think from my behavior that she's aggressive.  She's not.  So I'm denying Ziggy human interaction by making people think she's scary - but I don't know a way around that.  Until she has better manners and can be approached and stay sitting for petting.

I don't force my dog onto anybody, and I'd appreciate if other people would do the same.  

resource management

I'm reading If a Dog's Prayers Were Answered ... Bones Would Rain from the Sky: Deepening Our Relationships with Dogs by Suzanne Clothier.  And I have a lot to say, but I just read the bit about resource management and that struck a chord.

Dogs do need to know that they aren't in charge of the good stuff.  I don't have the stamina to engage in that "Nothing In Life Is Free," but I do expect things of Ms. Ziggy Stardust to get good things in return.  I do a lot of treats when she does things well, and I'm sort of random about it so I'm like Vegas.  I reward behavior a lot when it's unsolicited - if she chooses to sit outside the kitchen when I'm busy and watch laying down from the doorway, that's worth a treat.  If she gets off the bed as soon as she sees me coming with the intention to change the sheets: treat.  If she brings me something that I dropped and don't want her to have: deserves a treat.  And so on.

But I don't like entitlement in dogs or in humans, and so she has to show gratitude.  That means listening to me, doing as I ask (within her limitations right now), etc.  She sits a lot, and usually without me saying anything.  If I have the food bowl, she sits and waits out of my way.  If I go to open the door, she sits and waits.  If I am pulling something out a bag, she sits and waits because not infrequently it is for her.

But I realized from reading today that I'm a little lazy about this and should emphasize it more.  She was NOT happy when that was about raw chicken, and she did NOT want to sit and wait on the bed like I told her to.  She was fine with sitting at the door and waiting for permission, but having to get on the bed and lay down and wait?  That's too much!  But, I insisted, and she did it.  She surely did want that chicken.

Ziggy waits to be invited to go in and out the dog door, and here's the root of some of our problems: she is trying to show respect, that she knows that I am in charge of her access to the house and to the backyard.  That is a good thing.  But I find it annoying to have to encourage her to go in and out on her own.

Ziggy isn't so much alpha or dominant as she is just puppy jackass.  The vet tech told me that she acts like a Lab male puppy - I've never seen a Labrador act like this, but he insists that they are just as hard-headed.

IT's not that I think that there's anything inherently wrong with a dog asking permission to have acces to something desirable - it's just that I don't want to always be bothered with it.  I run into the same issues with my employees and even my friends.  My friend that was over the other day just kept asking a million questions.  "Can I put these in a bowl?  Do you want them in the fridge?  Should I throw this away?  Do you want me to remove these?" and on and on and on.  An employee is constantly asking me to explain why and goddammit, it doesn't fucking matter why usually.  JUST DO WHAT I SAID.  I called the office on Friday to check in with her and she cried out in delight, "Oh, my fearless leader!" and started in on many question and issues and I had to deal with them resolutely.

So I guess I have leadership skills, with people and with my dog, but honestly it's not my favorite thing.  I'm really hoping that Ziggy won't need this forever and I'll be able to just trust her.

One of my favorite things that she does is when I'm walking intentionally someplace, at a brisk pace and clearly with a purpose, Ziggy falls in line right beside me.  It would look like heeling, but it's not at all because it's much more voluntary and intentional.  It's Ziggy being my sidekick, ready to help wherever she can lend a paw, offering moral support because we're in this together.  I saw her do it with my friend, too, and it just warms my heart.  I feel a twinge of sadness when I see all the dogs out walking with their people, their spirits broken or at least badly battered.  No sniffing, no exploring, no zest for life, just a zombie-like meander.  I like how Ziggy advances on life with insane zest, so very spirited always.  It's not always easy to be her person, but it's always entertaining.

I really like Clothier's belief that it's possible to nurture a spirit like Ziggy's, to be very kind and gentle with dogs and they can learn to be the same, that each dog is so very different and has different needs.  Yes, yes, and yes.  Even if I had raised 200 other Catahoulas, none would be like Ziggy Stardust. 

***
Ziggy is happily gnawing on her marrow bone.  I told her to drop it and she backed up nervously.  "Sit."  She complied immediately.  "Drop."  She laid down.  I held out my hand and said, "Give me the bone" and she dropped it into my hand.  And I immediately gave it back to her with praise.

We aren't perfect but there's no question in my mind that Ziggy sees me as the leader.  Every so often I have to test it with somebody else's quiz, and Im glad we pass. 

Which is not to say that she wants to give me all her good stuff.  I'd come into the room where she's chewing and was dancing around her.  She discreetly pushed her bone to the side and grabbed a rope toy and distracted me with it.  Smartie pants.  She knows all my tricks and uses them on me. 

sitting, watching

When I take Ziggy out for walks I get a lot of this:

And I've pondered this a lot. Did I get a defective Catahoula who doesn't have any stamina and needs to catch her breath every six blocks?  Does she love the feel of the grass on her belly?  Is that because the harness chafes?

And on and on.  I've thought about it a lot.

And then today, it came to me when she sat for a break instead of laid down because it wasn't a good spot to lay down.  I watched how she was looking around, her ears and nose twitching.  She's taking an overstimulus break.  She is on her own initiative saying, "Hey, I'm feeling overloaded and I need to process which I can't do while we're moving and there's constantly new stimulus.  Can we stop here for a minute or two and let me just let my senses catch up with my brain?"

This is not unprecedented.  When the trainer said I needed to start cradling her to calm her down and we tried it and it did NOT work, I started to think about what would work, and it's wrapping my arms around her and rubbing her chest.  This is what has calmed her through many a stray pedestrian freaking her out, etc.  But then she started to seek this out, and it's always the same: her butt touching my right foot, her side leaning against my left knee, and her needing me to touch her with my hands.  Three points of contact, and she can calm herself well.  She also does it when we're playing fetch - she'll run after the ball or frisbee a few times but then she appears distracted.  She's distracting herself intentionally, so that she does not get too worked up.  When friends have pushed her to run and catch more, she gets out of control, her prey instinct in overdrive.  

long weekend

Somehow Ziggy seems to know this is a long weekend and she is gearing up with games and affection.  I got her a new toy when I stopped at a garden store.  How can I not?  She loves toys so much and always gets so excited about new ones.  And now it's her favorite and she wants to play with it and with me constantly, except when she wants to snuggle and have her belly rubbed eternally. 

Getting her to use the dog door still requires some cheering on, and every time she comes through I make a big deal about it and she runs around like crazy but she stops short of being a jackass.  Tonight she came through after running around crazy in the backyard barking at birds and neighbors, and that's usually when she's full jackass and literally bounces off me, mauls me, etc.  But she didn't.  I saw her screech on the brakes to avoid running into me, she kept all four paws on the floor, all that.  I'm so proud of her.

Looks like she's finally evening out from that damn tick collar. 

green feathers

These are a monk parrots.


 There are flocks of them wild in New Orleans, and I was pretty excited when I decided to buy this house and a huge flock of them descended to greet me.

When Ziggy i moved in, she was excited, too.  Which she demonstrated by her usual behavior with birds - bark belligerently and chase them.  She got into it with one in particular, just as she did with a crow.  Not physically because of course Ziggy cannot fly, but she was ticked off and the parrot was ticked off and they were shouting at each other.  I noted this on FAcebook and a friend who has one as a pet said, "I pity Ziggy if she chooses to make war with a monk parrot.  They are very smart and they will win."

Time passes, and this morning I was excited when a flock was on the block over and there were all these green feather flying past me.  "Look, Ziggy!  Parakeets!"  She looked and quickly averted her gaze.  She got quiet and refused to acknowledge that they were even there, walking on nervously.

I don't know what happened sometime when Ziggy was in the backyard without me, but clearly something did, and Ziggy has learned her place is below monk parrots. 

I'm also astounded at how they can train her so much better than I or any other human can. 

Tuesdays are better

Mondays are Ziggy's worst days.  She always struggles with Mondays and it didn't help that she was recovering from medication that made her very lethargic.

Today she's adorable and sweet and smart, as usual.  She tells me to come play frisbee wtih her in the backyard and I do and we have fun (she got a new soft frisbee and she absolutely loves it, doing leaps to catch it in the air).  The key with a reactive dog is to not play catch too much.  Don't keep throwing the ball over and over and over - watch for signs for breaks.  Ziggy can calm herself down sometimes, if I let her. Too much predator instinct and she loses her marbles.  A little, and we have fun. 

We are in an awkward stage with the dog door.  She uses it for different purposes than intended - mostly to stand at it and cry, making it very obvious that she wants me to open the door for her.  But when she really wants in or out, she just goes.  It's all about the show with this puppy.  She'll get over it - mostly it's that she's waiting to be invited.  Sometimes I still have to invite her up on the couch or bed.  Somebody taught her that, but it's not in place firmly.  Just sometimes.  Because I don't need to invite her usually - she's usually now good about not getting up when it's not appropriate.

I want a dog whose judgment I can trust.  I do not want a dog whom I have to train to do whatever I say.  I have known dogs like that and many people want them.  But not me.  I want the spark and sass of a dog who knows her own mind.  But I always want her to have manners.

For all the mismatch of Ziggy and me, we're also very matched.  She is a strongwilled street-smart sassy dog who has ferocious focus.  She is skeptical of the world, including me, because she knows that she may have to fend for herself again someday.

Oh good grief.  Here is a not-atypical Ziggy story that I'm in the middle of right now.  She got her bone back that she started two days ago - I confiscated it and put it in the fridge, so she's not only eating bone.  She's been outside quite some time enjoying it but when I opened the back door to shake out mats, she merrily trotted up the stairs with the bone in her mouth.  I closed the door.  She looked at me, aghast.  "No, I dont' want that in here."  She tried to slip past me and I said, "No, really.  YOu are welcome but not the bone."  She looked at me to say "But we have a deal.  ONce it's not meaty anymore, you let me bring it in."  "Well, not tonight.  I just vacuumed and want no bits of bone in the rug for company tomorrow.  No bone."

Looking me straight in the eye, she took the bone that was hanging out her mouth and put it so it was completely in her mouth and tried again to slip past.  I laughed and said she wasn't very bright to do it right in front of me.  She sighed and took off down the stairs, and then came right back up with nothing apparently in her mouth.  I even said, "Are you hiding that in you mouth?" and she looked at me very innocently.  She trotted around the house a bit and I finished vacuuming and turned and ... she had the goddamn bone in her mouth.  She had been hiding it in her mouth!

So, I got a towel and said, "Fine, if you must have it in the house, then eat it on this towel," and she set it immediately on the towel and has been keeping it there ever since, as she goes to town on it.

This just doesn't feel like normal dog behavior.  I mean, the dogs I've raised have always been like this, understandign complete sentences and doing work-arounds to get what they want.  Because I do not demand or want complete obedience.  Instead, I wanting thinking dogs who are creative and entertaining.

I think that most dogs are capable of this sort of interaction but it's trained out of them, and only when they get into such activities as flyball or agility can they figure things out and have fun.

Figuring me out and working around me is my dogs' fun.  Like, when the bone moves off the towel, she picks it up and sets it back on it.  She's just so damn smart in her own way.  But a sit-stay when a squirrel runs past?  Good luck with that.  Perhaps I coudl teach her to be obedient like that, but I don't want to.  My co-worker told me in the movie Up how no matter what they were doing, dogs would stop and all turn and say, "Squirrel."  That is so Ziggy.  And that is natural.

So apparently night is her stressor lately.  she was starting up with the same shenanigans of mauling me and I could distract her, but she's clearly very worked up. Why?  I have a cordless drill which motor I burned out and I pushed it and heard the loud grinding noise and she leaped back in terror, as if I had shot her, and the drill looks like a gun.  Does she know guns?  Poor baby. 

My co-worker's daughter was in today and showing me pictures of her Catahoula - 130 pounds of it.  It's already huge and then also very fat, and good grief.  I think they're feeding it to death.  I'm so glad Ziggy is ok with food.

She finally went to go lay down on my bed and she just cried out in her sleep.  Not a play cry, but I can hear pain and fear in her voice.  Oh, poor Ziggy.  What dreams torment you?  Even sleep gives you no relief?  

and the wild beast is back

Ziggy is back to her energetic and mischievous ways now that I've removed the Preventic collar.

This is a hard thing to figure out.  Ticks are very bad, for her and me.  But this medicine affects us both badly. 

Boo.

A new frisbee came in the mail for her today and she Loves It, frolicking around with it. 

She's very wound up so we'll wait untl dark, when the squirrels will no longer torment her, and I'll drive her to a university campus where she can walk with few stressers. 

Ziggy can be such a delight.  I wish I could spend more of my waking hours with her. 

side effects

Ziggy is lethargic.  While she still gets excited about things, she mostly wants to nap. All day, all night. 

I removed the tick collar because I'd seen some side effects listed and maybe that's the effect on her.  But then here's this that's interesting: it can also cause blood glucose spikes in owners.

Wait, what?  Well now, that explains a lot.  Ever since putting this collar on her, my blood sugar has felt totally out of whack.  Even a metallic taste in my mouth.

I'm not sure that the lethargy is really from the collar.  Ever since I got Ziggy, she's been much more energetic in cooler weather than warmer.  HOW IS THIS DOG A LOUISIANA NATIVE??  But she's a 15 month old puppy and she didn't even really try to get me to take her on a walk tonight.  We played some tug and now she's lying on her tug toy beside my flip flops, sleeping hard with deep groans.  She did get a very big bone today, so perhaps she digesting that. 

At what point do I need to take her to the vet?

***
She livened up later and we cruised the neighborhood a bit at 10 pm.  

sentry

As I do work in the backyard, be it mowing or hanging laundry on the line, Ziggy has taken a new stance: sentry. 

She has always taken her duty of protecting me very seriously, but now she looks serious about.  SErious like the lions at the New York Public Library.  She sits or lays down and surveys out over the domain.  Keeping me in the peripheral vision, all her senses are activated as I see her nostrils and ears twitch and her eyes scanning. 

She does not hang out outside alone much anymore, which is rather disheartening as I bought this house mostly for the huge (by New Orleans standards) backyard.  But she does like to be out there with me usually (sometimes if I'm out too long, she comes back inside to nap). She doesn't much like to play fetch anymore - I've apparently killed the joy.  She'll do it in little spurts, which is fine as I also have a short attention span and find it boring to throw a ball for much.

She did kind of a peculiar thing this morning.  I was walking to her with wiggling fingers saying, 'I'm gonna get you!"  I rarely do this because it amps her up and she has a hard time playing at appropriate level when there's any roughhousing involved.  Sometimes I do it to pretend to take away a toy or something such.  But as I did it, she stayed where she was until I was in range and then she shot up putting her paws on my hips and mouthed my elbow hard enough that I could feel it.  She was saying, "Look, I've got the protection skills.  Anybody comes for us, I know exactly how to take 'em down.  You sure you wanna play?"  I immediately stood down and so did she. 

Midday nap

day 1 of a calming break

We went for a walk this morning and it was not a good idea.  I'm having a hard time letting go of walking Ziggy every day.  We went where there are usually no dogs early Sunday morning, but there were a lot of bugs and a lot of garbage, and Ziggy was pulling and not listening and generally not focused or calm.  We passed one person and while she was curious about him she walked on past, which is always good for her.

She has spent all of the day asleep, pretty much.  Deep sleep, with muscle twitches, and long stretches of it. Did she not sleep while I was gone because she was too stressed?

My poor puppy.  I keep feeling that I'm doing her wrong.

We did some training and mental activity.  Hide and seek got her energetic, and some "come to heel position" which she really struggles with as she hates that position, and holding a treat out and waiting for her to look at my face, and "which hand?" with a treat, and sit and down and mat and the usuals. 

I've been doing little chores here and there, but mostly relaxing myself.  Every time I get up, she's quick to follow, immediately at my side.  She is such a sweet puppy and an admirable companion.  She wandered through the laundry on the line sniffing it - last time, I washed her rope toy and put it on the line to dry and she found it and pulled it off.  She's never done that with anything else, but she knows her things, and she doesn't wait for permission.  Some people would say that's very bad, that she should always wait for me to grant permission, but I call hogwash.  One of my favorite things about Ziggy is her initiative, her curiosity.  She knows that she has to wait before I give her a treat, before getting on the bed if I'm changing the sheets, etc.  But waiting for the sake of waiting?  Overrated.  I don't want a submissive, passive dog.  I want Ziggy, but I want her without freaking out and melting down.  I want her to be able to navigate the world and be ok. 

I don't know Ziggy's back story.  She was abandoned to a shelter when about nine months old; the guy said she was a stray that he was feeding until his landlord caught him.  I don't know if that's bullshit.  I have no idea.  I cannot figure her out.  She does love life on the streets and takes any opportunity to run away, but she always lets me catch her and is good-natured about it.  Her inability to manage stress may be from some really bad experiences and this is a form of PTSD.  I just really don't know.  What I do know is that I screwed up yet again - when I got home from the trip and she was belligerent, I should have stuck to my guns and been very calm.  Instead, I let her amp me up and we went for walks and played ball and other things that escalate her.  I just don't want her to be too bored because then she'll figure out a way to run away for real.  She loves fun.  I've never seen a dog like this - she wants fun all the time, at any price.  And I am very boring and not fun.

***
When she got drawn into noise outside (water pipes being dug up), she was AMPED.  Playing completely inappropriately, including mouthing me and scratching me - things that I never allow.  Jumping all over me, trying to force me to play, and goddammit, I bite.  I say very firmly, "NO.  STOP THIS."  Which in her little brain is, "Hey, let's play!"   I tried to pet her to calm her down and she even tried to calm herself down (she sits on my feet as I pet her), but she just could not.  Her pupils were huge and she was lunging and just totally out of control. 

Finally I went outside to get laundry off the line and she ran like crazy, laps with toys in her mouth, zigzags across the yard.  And, she got her ya-ya-s out.

So, I need to remember not to amp up with her.  When she's out of control, scolding never helps. Ignoring does.  Then take her outside and let her run wild and get it out of her system without me egging her on. 

a worst nightmare

I called my co-worker this morning and she sounded like she had a cold.  We kept talking and then she told me: her dog had died.  She had left the 14-year-old in the care of her children's father, as she always does, asking him to keep an eye on the elderly dachshund as he'd really lost vision. 

They found him drowned in the lake.  I can't get that vision out of my head, as drowning is my big fear. 

As dog parents, how careful is too careful?  And, I know they're just dogs, but ... they're our best friends.  She had this dog through so much of her life, including when her father died just last year, when our boss died a few months ago.  This has been a really horrible year for her, and now her loving support is gone. 

I'm dealing with a dog who's gone haywire because dogsitters didn't listen to my instructions to avoid triggers, but she's going to be ok.  So many other horrible things could happen. 

I want to keep her safe, but also I want her to live.  That's hard. 

All day I just wanted to come home and snuggle the crazy puppy.  She's fine, of course.  Happy to see me, happy to be out of the crate, happy happy happy. 

And alive. 

train the trainer

I think that most obedience classes are really about training the dog trainer more than the dog itself.  This is probably likely even more the case with behavior modification issues.  I see the problems I create myself all the time.

While I certainly did not create Ziggy's reactivity, I ensured its regularity in our lives by overexposing her to stressers when I first got her - all in the name of keeping the Catahoula (a very active breed) well-behaved through enough stimulation.  But I so overstimulated her.

I still do, but it's still well-intentioned ignorance.  And my soft heart for Ziggy.  She's right now sitting so good, calmly, looking longly at the door; last night she even added in sniffing her leash.  She knows she's not allowed to grab it, but she communicated with me very effectively what she wants: A WALK.  She loves walking, I love walking (usually - not when she's melting down).  For her it's less for exercise and more for mental stimulation of who's been where and what's going on; for me it keeps my joints working much better than immobility or high-impact activities.  She is super observant* and likes to know who is where doing what.  She's nosy.  If somebody is going inside, she wants to make sure they make it all the way in with the door closed before we walk on.  If somebody's sitting in the car, she wants to know what exactly is the issue, and she will stare people down with quite an intensity.  She would be wonderful on a large ranch, keeping track of everything.  But instead, we live in a city house, and I work against her nature.  She keeps us safe from marauding sparrows and all sorts of creepy crawly flying things (I had a nasty termite swarm last week and she did her best to keep it under control).  She wants nothing more than to run wild with the free-range four-year-old boy across the street, and while I know she wants to run around she also wants to keep an eye on him, which she currently does from the living room window. 

We are still working on an appropriate level of watch dog - she has calmed from barking at everything and is a bit more discriminating now.  Or, she'll bark to alert me and I'll tell her it's ok and she stops and just watches.  She really is a smart puppy with very good instincts.  Of course part of the barking is fun for her, and thank goodness that's what the neighbor thinks when she runs along the fence barking at him every single morning (though lately she's cooled on that) - he said, "She playing, I think."  (He doesn't speak much English, but Ziggy is a polyglot.)  Mostly she really does not like their dog, a yappy little thing who has worse manners than Ziggy, and the first time they "met" through the fence it was very not friendly.  Ziggy does not forget and forgive when it comes to bad manners. 

Ziggy has all these really wonderful characteristics.  I got her for two reasons: protection (I live in a very unsafe cit) and companionship (it was time to stop seeing a man I'd been seeing a while and I knew it would be hard).  She provides both with an excellent standard.  She is delightful.  But only consistently with me.  The bad behavior since I got back is very unusual - she hasn't acted like that with me in months.  I think it's a sign of her high stress levels.  

Or is it?  I never know what to do best for her and I keep trying.

Though, Ziggy is a wild beast and doesn't give a hoot about pleasing anybody, including me.  She is the life of the party but in her own way.  And I like this about her, her independence and self-confidence.  She's extremely outgoing (which I am not) and jovial.  Even when things are awful, she tries to make them fun.  Contrast that to my last dog, a very intelligent border collie mix, who would look at me with disgust as though I was responsible for the inconvenience of everything from snow to rain to ill-behaved dogs to car malfunctions.  Ziggy doesn't blame me for the rain, she's just having nothing to do with it, which is how I learned that she can slip any collar or harness.  She's a wily one. 




*The first time I came home with a pedicure since I had her, she immediately noticed and kept "commenting" on it by stopping to investigate and then looking up at me with this look of "YOUR TOES ARE COLORED AND SMELL DIFFERENT!" 

introducing Ziggy Stardust

Last October, I saw a Facebook post for a Catahoula available for adoption, an adorable dog with a pink mottled nose and one glass (blue) eye and one brown.  The timing seemed right and I jumped on it and everything worked out.  It didn't take long for me to realize that there was something not quite "right" about this dog.  Always so quick to overreact, unable to listen in stressful situations.

After I'd had her for a week we started an obedience class, where she was out of control.  Barking, leaping, so excited she refused all treats.  The trainers minimized my concerns, saying she needed more exercise.  I had known before getting her that she needed a lot of exercise and I had been doing my best to meet that need.  They suggested taking her to the dog park before class, which did not seem a good idea to me but I trusted the "experts." 

The second week at class, Ziggy slipped her collar (unfortunately they had not suggested a Martingale collar).  She was even more amped up, coming from the dog park, and ran to another dog to play - but the other dog saw it as an attack and bit Ziggy's face.  A nasty fight ensued with both dogs having deep bite marks and the other dog's owner had a bite on her knee.*  I was horrified that my dog had slipped her collar and apologized profusely and offered to pay all bills (over $1,000), as I didn't really understand the situation until later (that Ziggy was bit first, etc.). 

As such, the SPCA was called to investigate a potentially aggressive dog and a man showed up at my house that afternoon, ready to impound and destroy.  And within about 30 seconds of meeting Ziggy he saw what I saw: a sweet, charming, curious dog who wants to have fun and has no manners.  She was put on ten-day quarantine because she'd broken a person's skin,** but he was very understanding.

I had to realize that I was out of my depth, and after a lot of really difficult soul searching i contacted the rescue society and asked to surrender Ziggy after the quarantine period.  When I'd adopted her they'd made a big deal about if I'm ever to give her up to give to them, that there was a thirty-day trial period to make sure we were a good fit, etc.  Instead of following through with their promises, due to their own personal issues they told me I had to abandon her to a nearby kill shelter.

This was a horrible development and I had to leave for a business trip, and I didn't know what to do.  I didn't really believe that Ziggy was aggressive, just that she had no manners.  I wanted her to be rehomed with people who could be better for her than me, and I didn't want to incur more expensive vet bills for other people; but I am not the kind of person who can abandon a dog to likely be killed.  When I went to class and told my classmates about this situation, one of the young women said she could watch her while I traveled.  My gratitude still knows no bounds to her, and my frustration with the rescue society is still very much intact.

I still tried normal activities, such as the dog park.  Ziggy would play with many of the larger dogs very well, and she was very charming.  One person called her "the mayor of the dog park" because she would hop around and greet each dog and each person.  "Welcome, I'm glad you're here," she would gladpaw like a gubernatorial candidate at a fundraiser.  She would also be annoying as fuck to dogs and people easily annoyed, doing such things as trotting alongside a pair of beagles and getting in their space to make them snap at her, jumping back, and doing it again and again and again.  (This is when I discovered her ability to really focus on something she wants, making a layperson diagnosis that some would give of ADHD not fit.)  She was tremendous fun with most of the dogs, such as a trio of pugs; they would all run togehter and when the pugs would stop short she'd sail over them.  But then somebody with a small dog thought it would be fun to have that 7-pound annoyance in the big dog area instead of sticking to the small dog area, and when it snapped in Ziggy's face (likely terrified of all the big dogs rushing at and around it), a fight ensued.  Ziggy did not hurt the dog but was angry and snapped in warning other big dogs jumped in.  I grabbed and held her and could feel her surging adrenaline.  Realizing I could not trust the judgment of other dog owners, or Ziggy's ability to step away when she feels attacked, we left and never returned. I had to also accept that I wouldn't be able to take her to doggy daycare.  Suddenly all my plans had to be reconsidered, which is especially difficult since I work at a challenging job that requires not infrequent overnight travel, in addition to being a full-time grad student.***

Catahoulas need a lot of exercise I'm told, and I was religious about the twice a day walks as well as playtime off leash.  Each morning we would rise early and walk through the neighborhood.  The best mornings were when a man in a motorized scooter from the nearby assisted-living facility would be out and he would call to her and say how beautiful she is, how much he loves her, and encourage her to jump up on him and lick his face with wild abandon.  People loved Ziggy, calling out how beautiful she is, asking her breed, etc.  I'd warn if they wanted to pet her that she would jump because she has bad manners.  Ziggy loves children and once she realized that school buses are full of them, she began to try to chase them.  One tough-looking teenager was once sitting on a stoop pouting and Ziggy ran to him before I could stop her and put her paws in his knees and gave him a kiss, and his mood completely changed.  A woman across the street, probably his mother, shouted, "I love that dog!  I don't even like dogs, but she can stay with us anytime!"

Ziggy loves and people love her, but she amps up so much that she gets out of control.  She jumps and mouths and nips and scratches. 

I tried another dog trainer, explaining all that had happened and Ziggy's frame of mind, and she came over for an assessment. She has meant well and we are still in touch, and she is very experienced and qualified, but she also made bad calls.  She insisted we try the group class, and that only took twice before Ziggy was expelled again.  We walked and Ziggy was being as I described and she shouted, "You do not have control of your dog!" and I was like, "YEah, duh.  That's why I'm here!"

Ziggy learns tricks well.  She's very smart and motivated and likes mental stimulation.  What she can't learn - what I haven't figured out how to teach her - is how to calm the heck down, to get out of her amygdala and process like a sane creature.  Here's the most important thing I've learned: dog trainers do not help with reactivity.  IN Ziggy's case, dog trainers make it far worse.  Ziggy is horribly behaved with them because relationships are very important to her and she's not interested in strangers bossing her around and making her do stupid things.  Walking around cones is not something that's important to training Ziggy; what I want is for her to stop losing her shit when she sees another dog, a cat, or when people come to visit.  I want her to stop completely melting down and becoming a total jackass.  Dog trainers do not help with that. 

I started reading a lot and realized that I need a behavioral modification specialist, but there's nobody anywhere near - the closest was three hours away and she didn't return my emails.  I would happily take a week off of work and stay there for them to work together if it would help. 

In the evenings, I would drive up to where I attend school to take Ziggy for walks on a peaceful campus, and that would help.  So, with her overreactions in my very busy neighborhood, I decided to move to the quieter neighborhood near campus.  The realtor thought I was crazy but rather than look at the list of house amenities for each possibility, I looked for size of lot and location away from busy streets. 

I BOUGHT A HOUSE FOR MY DOG.  People think I'm crazy, but they don't understand. 

It's been over six months of us together, and we are firmly bonded now.  It took us a long time, much longer than I'd ever expected or experienced with any other dog.  Catahoulas are known for being very loyal and protective and Ziggy lives up to the hype.  She loves to have fun and is sweet and loving and ornery.  While her heart's desire is to steal tools as I'm trying to do work around the house, when I let her know this is serious business she switches into mature dog mode .... usually.  Travel is hard for both of us; today I'm dealing with the fallout of three days of her with people who DID NOT LISTEN TO MY INSTRUCTIONS.  She's totally in a cortisol hangover because they took her places where there were other dogs and she would flip out.  Last night I took her for a long walk and she melted down.  Totally lost her shit.  She gets so bad that once she's maxed out (the final straw was her being surprised by a man running with two dogs across the street), she even appears to hallucinate.  The last five blocks were her barking and lunging aggressively at threats I couldn't even see.  I would have picked her up and carried her if I could because she was so past done.  So stressed out she could not function properly. 

Trying to train a dog like this is ridiculous.  It's impossible.  She may have excellent recall in the backyard or when we're off hiking alone off-leash (only once in our time together; unfortunately there is very little wilderness where I live), but she can't remember anything when she's stressed out.  I read somewhere that it's like coming out of a dark movie theater and a man approaching with a gun demanding your money and your friend asking you if you want a candy bar.  Ziggy feels that a man is holding a gun to her and threatening her very life and mine, and she must rise to the occasion.  And the problem is that she feels this way about things that are not threatening.  And she feels it nearly constantly.  She is in panic mode.

Yesterday a man said it looked she was on laughing gas, how she was acting as she pulled me along, and that's sort of how it is.  It's like the adrenaline and cortisol are a drug that shuts down processing capacity. 

Things had been getting better but then people making bad choices for her has spun her backwards drastically.  I'm going to try a detox following this protocol that I just found.  A main thrust is: stop exercising the dog.  To me that sounds horrible.  I have a Catahoula, after all, a dog made to herd and hunt, not to be a couch potato. I have a very smart, curious dog who wants to know the world.  How can I not take her out walking twice a day?

Because of all the bad advice that I've ever gotten from "experts," the worst was that Ziggy needed more exercise.  No.  She needs less stress.  I find it distressing that trained trainers cannot recognize this distinction.  Even I could see it - Ziggy's pupils dilated, panting, shedding like crazy.  She was constantly stressed.  I just have a hard time getting over my assumptions of what young dogs need.  But if I had listened to my instincts instead of others, Ziggy never would have been in that fight that nearly cost her life.  I failed her, and I feel guilt. 

The hope is that as she grows up some of the jackass behaviors will mellow, she'll be less narcissistic for one.  The real problem is that she's generally not a jackass with me - oh, she thinks it's great fun to steal a sock and run across the yard for me to chase her, but that's just being a little prankster.  With other people she is entirely different, because they stress her out.  I had a potential sitter come visit and while Ziggy liked her, she did not like the sitter's boyfriend AT ALL.  Not only wouldn't she stop jumping, but she deliberately clawed his arms up badly.  He pushed her buttons and she wanted him gone.  Like a salesman once at the door; she lunged forward and nipped his thumb.  Didn't break skin or anything, but told him to get the fuck away from us.  In these situations, she feeds off my energy.  I did not like either of these men and wanted them both gone.  Ziggy made it happen. 

My last dog was a border collie who was full of finesse, manipulating people until they were begging to do things for her.  Ziggy is the opposite - she's very physical, belligerent.  She body checks me to make a point.  She's usually good with children, but with adult males she wants them on the ground with her. 

So, now I need to spend my Sunday morning doing more research - today on things to train and on TTouch.  I could get a freaking PhD in dog reactivity though I still feel like I know nothing, but I keep researching, keep trying.  Giving up is not an option.  One day at a time, trying to avoid meltdowns. 





*I am still very upset to recall this because it all could have been avoided had the trainers understood anything about reactive dogs, suggested the correct collar, or grabbed Ziggy when I shouted the instant she got off her collar.  Instead they stood there watching until I got there (one had been near Ziggy, the other right by the other dog, and neither did anything), and by then the owner had tried to "break up the fight" by putting her knee in the middle of the fight (?!).  I grabbed Ziggy around the middle and pulled her off; while the advice is to grab from the backlegs, I found that even in the heat of a bad fight, Ziggy did not bite me and appeared relieved for my intervention.

**In hindsight I'm not certain that Ziggy was the one who bit the person.  It was a dogfight and could have been either one. 

***I've since moved to part-time school status, but finding people to watch Ziggy when I have to travel remains very difficult.