day 4

This morning Ziggy is very lethargic - didn't get up when I got up, not interested in eating.  Fluoxetine effects?

***
When we went outside for a walk, Ziggy waited at the top of the stairs for my permission to proceed once I had.  This is HUGE because she always speeds down and I try to get her to slow so as not to pull me (sometimes it's slippery and I so do not want to fall). 

I don't know if it's possible that the fluoxetine is actually working with just one pill, but maybe it's all the training I've been doing and she knows I'm always "packing" (carrying treats)?  Who knows.  I'll take it.  She has always seemed to want to be good about it but she gets so overwhelmed and has to rush out to assess any danger - her rushing like that has always seemed like a physiological overreaction rather than naughtiness (because she can easily control herself at other times).  The vet said the drug would delay her reaction time, and that's what this looks like - she still wants to get out in the world quickly, but she can wait for me to give her instructions. 

**
Not a good walk tonight.  She was on edge as we went a different way, though she handled barking at her like a champ, and tried to chase a cat but focused right back.  But then we passed a dog who was aggressively barking and she lit up, and then we passed a dog who was fighting to get out of its yard to get at us which totally flipped her out.  She was so upset that when I tried to get her to take chicken to distract her, she snapped my hand.  No injury or bad intent, just a classic example of waaaay over threshold. 

Sigh. 

day 3: beginning prozac with the dog

This morning Ziggy was very subdued, very calm and seemingly worried.  I felt bad because I had promised her a walk to see her friend Black Dog, but I overslept again.  

Today I picked up fluoxetine for the pup.  Apparently this is not unusual, and it really is possible to negotiate down drug prices at pharmacies (that is nuts to me but it's true - we went from $29 to $11 for 100 fluoxetine capsules - tablets would be much more, like $1/pill I've been told). 

When I got home, Ziggy was on a craze - in part because she heard me unload my truck with about six loads up to the porch before I opened the door.  Then I let her out on leash to hook to the porch rail while I brought everything inside, and she was a champ.  She whined once at something but then shook it off.

Inside I opened the blinds and discovered that she has already figured out my response substitution game - she will bark riotously, then when I get up and call her to come to distract her, she's all about that and she runs to the kitchen for chicken or to her mat for a treat.  How do I know that I'm not teaching her to bark obnoxiously because she knows she'll get treats for what comes next?  I know that they say that dogs are responding to the last input, but Ziggy is smart enough to chain things together.

But the good news on that is that I am able to distract her away and only once did I gently pull on the leash that I'd kept on her to guide her away.  Soon she was lying on the floor with her back to the window, happily chewing on a new toy I'd got her. 

Then we went for a walk and she only melted down twice, at the same house each time.  Apparently people have moved in with a dog that we've not ever seen before and it freaked Ziggy out to see that dog out and about.  She cried and prance/lunged and all that, and I tried to distract her with treats and chicken and cheese, which is hard to do when she's tantruming and I'm trying to hold onto her and perhaps keep moving.  She was over threshold but she calmed down pretty quickly. 

When we passed a house with a dog outside in the yard and it barked at us, she hardly paid it any mind.  Same with people on porches talking.  Very easily distracted with treats and we'd just keep on. 

Lagniappe: I can distract her from garbage.  I never thought the day would come for that! 

started with behavioral vet

There's no behavioral vet where I live and I've tried for almost a year to drive to see the nearest one (nearly six hours away), so I finally found one that does consults by phone and we did that yesterday (day 1).

He has several parts to the plan that I'll get into more depth on, but I think I'll startby using this as a diary of sorts for our progress.

Day 1 - phone consult with vet for about 90 minutes (this is our second call) - he says she likely has anxiety which leads her to overreact and suggests behavior modification with medication (fluoxetene, generic Prozac).  He also said that the regular vet says she's no longer on exercise restriction (she has been recovering from heartworm treatment).

So, I came home and I walked my dog for the first time in almost two months and it was glorious.  We went to a quiet university campus after dark (no squirrels) and she was alert to people but it's funny how varied that is.  To a police officer, she wagged her tail and cheerfully pranced toward him.  To people inside a building she stopped to stare as if to say: hey, notice me!  To people walking past us who looked at her and said she's cute, she tried to jump on them.

Things were fine until we went behind a building and she was straining to see something - it looked like kids with a flashlight.  She kept straining and then a dog there was straining to get to her and she had a little meltdown.  But just a little one.  She kept walking and took a treat once we were around the corner.

The vet says 5-10 minute walks, more for mental stimulation than physical, but I like walking my dog and we'll go further.

Day 2
No morning walk because I overslept and Ziggy no longer wakes me up in the mornings.  She was staring at me a lot, sitting nearby and staring, like unsure what to do.  The vet says not to comfort anxiety but if she seems unsure, I like to invite her to be pet.

Usually I give her chicken and kibble in the morning when I leave and she happily gobbles it up, but today she tried to leave with me.  Poor baby, you don't want to go to my boring office without comfy couches.

Got home late and she was still on point with being very mindful and attentive.  I ate something and she looked at her empty bowl - the vet said she needs to get on a regular feeding schedule.  I always like how when i'm eating, she likes to eat at the same time instead of beg from me.  But we'll give this a go.  She was just disoriented because there was no food in her bowl.

We did a little training with sit, roll over, wait, "find it" (starting with dropping a kibble, making her wait, and then telling her to "find it" when I'm pointing at it - we'll expand from there).  Very on point.

I changed my clothes for going for a walk and she got super worked up - she will take running leaps at the front door to bounce off it.  Literally.  So I had her sit on her mat while I put on my shoes and her harness - she would get off the mat and I'd just put her back on it with a command and tell her she's good.

And off we went - we are trying to get better about the stairs with her not pulling me at all because they can be slippery, and she was better, but once we got on the ground she was kinda crazy with pulling a lot so I shifted the leash from the back of the freedom harness to the front, which helped.  She pooped within two blocks, and that usually takes the edge off the pulling.

We traced our old steps, where we used to walk, and her favorite dog friend's mom was coming out to check the mail.  They haven't moved away yet, which is great news for us. He wasn't outside but maybe tomorrow morning.  Ziggy was over the moon to approach his yard, so very happy to see her friend but kept walking when he wasn't there.

She was watchful of people and situations throughout the walk but if she lingered too long I'd get her attention, treat her, and we'd walk along.  At one point we passed a yard that we both always forget has a small dog in a kennel on a backporch - the dog barked and it started Ziggy so she prance lunged toward it and barked.  I said, "Hey, it's all good," and kept walking and she barked again but then was fine to keep walking and seemed unstressed.  She did do a long stop and stare at the yard where there are usually three large dogs with big barks, as well as a house where she once saw two labs on a top floor.  Just looking carefully, being on guard.

And now we're home and she just seems kind of out of sorts.  Too mellow, too cautious.  She lays on the couch without moving, not sleeping, eyes open, but just looking off into space.  When she was eating, it sounded like she was vomiting or trying to vomit - which could be heartworm pieces still, or who knows what.

She just doesn't seem herself.  Her spark is muted.  Maybe she's just coming down from the rush of jumping people on Monday eve.  Or otherwise under the weather.  And we haven't even started the Prozac.

I love Ziggy's spark, her verve, her enthusiasm.

We just something the behavioral vet suggested - I put her up in a room then walked to the front door, opened it, rang the doorbell, pretended to have a conversation etc., then let Z. out on leash to walk around the pretend person.  It AMPED HER UP.  When I gave her treats she was snatching them from me roughly, a sign of her being stressed out.

But hey, it woke her up.

On top of the two walks (5-10 minutes each, though we will usually go considerably further - it's not even worth putting on my shoes for ten minutes), about ten minutes of training per day.  A big one is distracting from triggers - "response substitution."  We did that a bit yesterday - when she would bark out the window, I'd call her, treat her for coming, and repeat.  The behavioral vet says that when a dog is anxious, comforting doesn't help improve the response but food does.

The thing about the behavioral vet is: I know these things.  I've read a dozen books, dozens of websites, watched lots of videos with experts.  I know these things, but I haven't been really consistent enough once we reach a plateau.  So, Ziggy doesn't usually react to people anymore, though she used to, because we worked on it.  Because we worked on it, dogs at a distance who aren't paying her mind are able to be ignored.  Because we worked on it A LOT, Ziggy never jumps on me (unless we're goofing around and dancing without me communicating a better move for her).  She doesn't mouth so much, all that is SO MUCH BETTER.  And we get to a place where things are god and I sluff off.  So hopefully working with a vet with whom I have contracted for three months of support will keep me in line.  I know that I'd really rather not have Ziggy on Prozac for the rest of her life, so let's give this a running shot by focusing diligently on the behavioral modification at the same time.

I want to be able to have people over without Ziggy mauling them.  I want to have her make dog friends without me worrying about their introductions.  I want to take her out to national forest land off-leash and if we run into a group of other people and dogs to have it not be a big deal.  I want to travel with her and stop to visit friends and have her be well-behaved with new people and dogs in other houses and situations.  I want to do agility or some other such dog sport with her.

When the regular vet called today to talk about the fluoxetine and Ziggy's treatment plan, he kept talking about Ziggy not getting a police record.  But I don't think Ziggy is aggressive - she could be if I don't work on it, but she's not a mean dog who wants to attack.  Now, her barks at dogs walking past may indicate otherwise because most dogs don't want to walk anywhere near our house - I've seen dogs freeze, puzzled and nervous, then pull to get away.  Ziggy is a modern-day Boo Radley.

But as both vets have said - Ziggy is doing her job.  Her job is protect herself, the home, and me.  And she does it well (though that whole letting strangers in the house at 2 am and sit upon command and be calm and not tell me this is happening?  STILL MAKES NO SENSE).

Ziggy is unpredictable but I am on duty all the time.  I'm always scanning the environment, always monitoring her behavior and reactions.  and maybe that's not enjoyable but it is what it is.  I'm a major helicopter parent.  I hover.  I intervene.  And I will be eternally grateful to her friend Roux's parents for telling me I'm too much and that they can handle Ziggy.  And they do.  They are wonderful friends for watching her - and all the effort they had to make to convince me that they could handle her.  She loves them.

She is unpredictable but I just don't think that she's aggressive.  I think that if she is bitten that she will bite back, I know that she has lousy manners ... but these things make her my little soulmate.  She lunges at people to jump on them and to lick their faces with wildly joyful abandon - that's not aggression, that's belligerence.  And I want her to stop because it's not safe for her to act like that. 

The behavioral vet keeps saying that as dogs get older that they are less interested in meeting a lot of new dogs, but I don't think Ziggy is to that stage.  He also said that hunting/herding dogs like her - when faced with a threat they run toward it.  I do think that's correct.  She does not shirk, she does not shy away - she faces any danger with tail held high.

Hey, she's my pup.  We're both of us not very bright about things like that.  We are chargers.  And in a dangerous situation, frankly there are few beings that I would shout "cover me!" and expect to be fully covered like I can with Ziggy.  She is so hypervigilant and constantly scanning for danger, ready to leap into any fray. 

She's asleep and I'm thinking that I may have given her some bad chicken because I'm a horrible person.  Yikes. 

I order some window film to block her view through the windows.  Sigh. I want her to be sane. 

almost a year

I am sitting on the couch.  Ziggy just came over, put her chin on the couch, I patted it and she jumped up and flipped her body around to lie against my thigh.  I pet her as I continue to work on the computer.

Sometimes I forget how far we've come, but then I remember how when I first got her she would rather maul me.  I couldn't sit and work on my computer on the couch without regular jumping and mouthing and scratching. 

We have adjusted to each other.  She now craves positive strokes and has learned how to get that. 

In two weeks, it will be her "Gotcha Day."  October 16 I took in this wild beast and she turned my life upside down. 

For all the challenges though, she has become my best little sidekick.  She is sweet and funny and finds delight in life where I forget to notice it. 

She's now sitting at my feet chewing on a dog toy, completely ignoring the flip flops right beside her.  She used to steal them and chew them, but now she looks in disgust at such actions.  She really is such a good dog.  She would never toilet inside the house or show aggression to a child.  She's just ... intense.

But I've never known a dog who shares joy around quite like her.  From her visits to the fellows at the nursing home where I used to live to sullen teenagers, Ziggy knows how to look them right in the eye and be happy to see them.  And they're happy to see her, too. 

In the hands of somebody better qualified than me, perhaps Ziggy would have moved past her reactivity and obnoxious inability to calm down when overstimulated.  She wouldn't pull on the leash during walks or jump on visitors.  I own it: I haven't been the best trainer.  OH, I have taught her all the basic commands, but there's no way to get her to immediately come when called if there's something more interesting the other direction. 

But I love her and she loves me, and because of our relationship she has come miles.  She is happy and safe, and she greatly enhances the quality of my life.  There's nobody I'd rather spend time with every day than her. 

And honestly I think that loving her is more important than being a grade A trainer.  I saw how she responded to expert trainers (before being expelled) - she refuses to learn from people she doesn't love. 

Recently I heard a talk on PTSD and how the constant flooding of the brain with cortisol rewires it.  They were talking about people, but it rings so true with Ziggy.  Whatever happened in her first year of life made her synapses fire in a way most people would consider deficient.  It makes handling her difficult because she just doesn't process information in a way that makes sense to me.  So I remember a student I had once who had been horrifically abused and how she would overreact to things, and how she taught me to be successful with her. 

Patience and love matters a lot. 

Dog brains and people brains are different yet a lot of the same processes are at work.

And maybe Ziggy's brain will never be "normal," but she has made tremendous strides.  Some days are better than others, and when she's overmaxed then I know to close the blinds and reduce her stimulus inputs.  She can't help that her brain misfires.  She doesn't want to be insane.

We have an appointment with the dog psychologist (veterinary behavioral specialist) in December, and I look forward to hearing from an expert.  I may put her on meds to help her get through the tough times.  I've always been resistant to meds because the people recommending that have her all mislabelled.  She's not hyper, she's energetic with an inability to handle too much stimulus. When it's just her and me, she doesn't do any of the things people consider hyper.  One friend was laughing at her ADHD, but her paying attention to every new thing rather than sticking with one focus makes her a good watch dog. 

Ziggy is just a special dog in a lot of ways. 

pup stomach

Ziggy has stomach upset, which she helped me understand by pooping diarrhea very near me.  Out in the yard, totally appropriate, just funny for how well she communicates with me.  Well, that and I can hear her stomach grumbling from a room away.  Poor baby.

We tried papaya but not enough so she got Kaopectate.  I mixed it up with some white rice and chicken, and she obediently lapped it up. 

I so appreciate her willingness to take medicine and not give me attitude.  I also so appreciate her willingness to never soil the house.  That may of course change when she's 15 and unable to navigate stairs, but for now she is so very well house-trained. 

That was the last of the kaopectate, so I'll plan to go get some pepto-bismol for her.  Poor baby just keeps trying to lie down but has to keep moving, her innards betraying her. 

She was wound up so very tight last night, with behaviors I haven't seen for many months.  INability to calm.  Pacing, panting, barking at slightest provocation, just so very on edge. 

mat

With travel and visitors and such, Ziggy training has fallen by the wayside.  But today we picked it up again, to make more concrete the command "mat." 

I'm still trying to come up with a hand signal for "mat" beyond pointing to it. 

For whatever reason, Ziggy was really challenged about pointing when I first got her - she did not understand it at all.  We've overcome that (unless: shenanigans where she pretends to not understand even when she does).*  But she will reliably go to "mat" as soon as she understands it, as good things happen there.  Sometimes she just lies on it for comfort, though she has two beds and two couches and lots of other spaces to lie on. 

She will hold mat well, even now letting me go out of sight before i call her, trusting that I will.  She immediately bounds to me, happy and proud of herself. 

And I'm trying to follow Karen Pryor's training on a dog overreacting with people at door, but here's my problem.  Ziggy will hold "mat" for a pretty long time, and I can walk to the door and jiggle the knob, and if she knows nobody is there she will hold it and watch me.  She's reliable about this.

But if we add in somebody actually here, all bets are off.  All training is immediately completely evaporated from her brain.

This makes it hard to train because it's not the training.  Ziggy learns very easily and happily.  It's that her brain short circuits with any kind of stress and she becomes a melted puddle of freak-out.  OHMYGOD THERE'S SOMEBODY HERE HE MIGHT BE AN AX MURDERER OR READY TO HAND ME FRESH STEAK OR BOTH.

To call her reactive is such an understatement.  It's better explained as: she becomes a complete wild beast and unable to respond to anything civilized until the stressor passes.

Sigh.  





*My BFF noted several examples of how Ziggy is clearly very bright.  For example, she is fed kibble in a treat ball that she pushes around to make the kibble roll out.  Whenever nearing a high couch or any other spot where it could get stuck, she carefully navigates it away.  I hadn't even noticed that.

good instincts

Yesterday Ziggy got out when my friend was WD-40ing the door hinges, and she ran down the stairs and of course chased birds in the neutral ground.

Then she ran to a house and wanted to go in the backyard.  Because ... ?  So she went under the house to get around and into the backyard, where she was pretty well contained but wouldn't come and I wasn't crawling under or breaking into the backyard. 

A mother and young daughter came out to see what was going on and they were so lovely.  They had noticed me and Ziggy before but I had never noticed them.  I think they moved in recently, perhaps after a marriage split.  We chatted a bit as I held a hyper dog at the end of a leash - she asked about the push mower I use, the little girl was very interested in Ziggy.  "She wants a dog so much, but I don't know about that.  We'll start a cat."

Anyway, I really like them.  You know how some people you just like their energy right off the bat?  That's them.  And, it seemed like the mom was looking for a friend, which is great.  Plus, now if Ziggy gets loose they know who to let know. 

Thank you, Ziggy, for the introductions.  Naughty dog.